CHAPTER FIVE A NEW BEGINNING

CHAPTER FIVE

A NEW BEGINNING

I was happy to welcome the New Year 2011 and relieved that the old year was gone!  It was a hard year because of the choices we made so quickly that brought so much turmoil to our life.  In this New Year I hoped to make wiser choices and find answers for our health problems.  Moving was harder than we ever thought it would be, we felt like we were in a bad dream, but it was real and there was no turning back.  I felt it was urgent that we get settled in our new life as soon as possible.  Perhaps it was just to be closer to our family for whatever changes were coming.    We invited our children to be with us when Wilf gave a beautiful dedicatory prayer on our new home. 

                                                    Another brand new house!

I always loved new beginnings, a brand new house, a new ward and new friends, but this time things were different.   I felt old and tired when we went to our new ward.  It was easy to hide behind Cindy and her beautiful family; we didn’t have to be anybody special, just Cindy’s parents!   Now we were with Cindy and her highly esteemed family it didn’t matter if we belonged.  I’ve always felt like I have to be somebody special to belong.  Another paradox -  I want to be an invisible person in the background, but then I feel left out.  When people think we are special I want to run and hide, so we move again! Is moving my escape from people’s expectations?   Will I come up with a new escape when I can no longer move?  Life is a mass of confusion to me!  The truth is I don’t need more friends or to be highly esteemed.  I just want to be a quiet unnoticed old lady doing the right thing!      

Old age was coming upon me faster than I thought it would.  I could feel my body losing strength and my life force slipping away.   My beautiful handwriting was shrinking with my shaking hand and my voice was weak, my face looked wrinkled, the pain in my spine was constant, my eyes were clouding over and my hearing seemed worse.   I felt like I was 80 years old instead of 67.   What was happening to my body?  It was too soon for me to be an old woman, there was still so much I wanted to do,  but I felt time was running out on me.

                                      Another birthday celebrated with family.

We planned to go on a three week cruise to Antarctica  and Argentina while our house was being built,  but it was finished much sooner than we thought.   The house was ready  to move in  the week before we left for the cruise, but with tons of  boxes to unpack and Missy  ready to have her second baby, it was a very bad time to leave.  The Lord had another plan for us.  Three days before the cruise Wilf’s esophagus shut down and we had to cancel the cruise.  Usually when food gets stuck drinking lots of water opens it up, but this time it was really stuck. Tyson and Kirk gave him a blessing as he got weaker and began dehydrating.  We still hadn’t found a doctor who could understand his problem, so we went to the emergency room where they  opened his throat.  Dr. Karnum was appalled when he saw how serious and dangerous his condition was.  He said absolutely no solid food, only liquids until they decided what to do.  The cruise which we already paid for was definitely out!  Even though we lost $14,000  I chose to let go and find the gifts we were given -  three extra weeks to unpack, we would be there for the birth of Missy’s baby and Wilf was alive!  We were very blessed!  

We unpacked what seemed like thousands of boxes we brought from Grantsville, the cabin and those the movers brought.  As I sifted through the never ending “stuff”  I wondered how I  got in a mess like this.   I didn’t care about most of it and wanted to give it away.  Since our mission worldly things were nothing to me, only a burden!  This last move showed me the most important things in my life - my health,  my family and the gospel.  All the stuff we’ve collected all of our life doesn’t matter, and may even keep us from being instruments in the Lord’s hands.      

When I resumed my routine after months of moving chaos,   my body could barely perform my core strengthening exercises.  It was urgent that I resumed my healthy routines to slow down the aging process. Enduring to the end requires more strength, diligence and discipline than I ever thought and depression easily sets in.  Financial problems of the business weighed heavily upon us, our larger home was more work, and we had to put in a yard!  What were we thinking starting over at our age?    

                                     Wilf, napping in the car with grandsons.

I was surprised how much I missed my friends in our old ward.   I wish I’d’ taken advantage of the many friendships we had there, but we were gone so much serving in Rose Park and Cambodia.  It was the season to travel and serve while we still had our health, but we paid a price for our absence.  People moved on without us and we felt like we never got to know them.    I wish I could live my life over again and be more confident and friendly.  Perhaps I would be wise enough to  recognize the lies of the adversary who is the spoiler and the slanderer! 

We finally found a doctor who would help Wilf.   Dr. Karnum  was very concerned and caring for Wilf and his condition.   He referred us to a surgeon who scheduled surgery within two days.  Wilf was in the hospital for four days after Dr. Belnap rebuilt the opening to his esophagus from his stomach.  We had high hopes that this problem was finally solved and we thanked heaven for angel doctors who cared about us!     

It felt good to get our life in order, we could have been someplace in South America with Wilf not being able to swallow.  Heavenly Father was surely blessing us!  Perhaps our season of travel was coming to an end.  Missy was ready to give birth to her second baby and our family needed us as they struggled to raise their children.  Perhaps this was our mission, to help  our family!

                                               

Wilf teaching the boys to clean fish.

One year earlier we didn’t even know we would be moving;  now we were almost settled in our beautiful new home with a place for everything and everything in its place.  It was a miracle and a brand new beginning!  

 

CHAPTER FOUR TIME TO MOVE AGAIN

CHAPTER FOUR

TIME TO MOVE AGAIN

The spirit had nudged us to look for property in the country for several years, but we were not ready to uproot our lives again.  We’d moved so much already, I could barely face the thought!  If it was the Lord’s plan then we’d move again.   I felt the spirit nudging me again when Kirk said he would build us a house and Cindy said I should move close to her so she could take care of me.  I didn’t think I was in need of being taken care of, was that a prophesy for my future?   

We began looking at property in South Jordan and Lehi.  South Jordan felt like home, but I wanted to be closer to our family in Lehi.  I knew we would be led to the right place.  When I found the property close to Cindy, I had a strong feeling it was the place.  Horses were grazing peacefully to the west and there was a beautiful view of Mt. Timpanogos to the East.  I called Wilf and told him he would love the property I was standing on!  When he saw it he felt the Lord guiding us to this place.  Kirk said he could build us a beautiful house on that property.     

                                             Wilf at our new property.

Building a new home at this stage of our life, plus selling our home in a poor market didn’t make much sense! We were leaving the perfect place to grow old, just as old age was upon us!   We finally felt at home in our ward and we loved living close to the temple!  What were we thinking? What was the Lord thinking?  Again we faced the darkness of the unknown and kept walking! 

Why did the Lord want us to move so many times?  Why couldn’t we live simply like other people?  Nothing was clear except to wait on the Lord and let him lead us  and learn whatever he wants us to learn.  Our life took off in a whole new direction but I told myself, “I will not doubt, I will not fear, I’ll trust God and move forward with faith and believe the best is yet to come!  If our house doesn’t sell, then it’s God’s will for us to stay in our lovely South Jordan house!”

About the same time my book was released, my voice changed and became very soft. I was feeling worse than ever with headaches, pain in my joints and ringing in my ears.  It felt like the Typhoid Fever I had in Cambodia.  Either I had something seriously wrong with me or it was a healing crisis from the Asea water.  Karyn said  I needed  more rest and  time to heal and prepare for the big move.  She told me I had a mission in Lehi and our new home would be a gathering place.  Becky encouraged me to eat more greens and stay in gratitude.    

The Bishop called us to be Ordinance workers in the Jordan River Temple, even though he knew we were selling our house.   When President Chamberlain set me apart he blessed me with health and strength and enough money to the end of my life;  his blessing covered all of my worries.  We were excited to work in the temple together, a first for us.  We were assigned the early morning shift at 5:00 a.m.  I was amazed at the many devoted temple workers who show up for prayer meeting at 4:30 a.m. Wilf was already trained but it was a whole new experience for me!      I began the process of memorizing all the parts so I could “go on line” like Wilf.   I felt the help of angels and my health improved.  I received a renewal of my body as I magnified my new calling.  I was energized and learned the parts quickly;   I loved the work and felt the mantle of this sacred responsibility.  Sacrifice always brings forth blessings from heaven and we received blessings from this brief temple service!  It was one of the sweetest experiences of my life!  Serving the Lord brings great joy!   

                                 At the Hong Kong Temple during our mission. 

Our new house was going up very fast!  There was no turning back!!  We complicated our lives beyond our wildest imagination.  We were so busy we were running through life - walking wasn’t fast enough!  Now we were building a house,  sorting and packing everything,  speaking and teaching about Cambodia,  working in the temple, helping the boys in their business, running our foundation,  and keeping up with our large family!   We were in very deep water, and could only stay afloat with God’s help. 

We were sad to be released from our calling as Ordinance workers when we moved out of South Jordan, but Church policy requires that you live in the temple district to serve in that temple.  Serving another mission was beginning to look doubtful with our health concerns, but we could still be temple patrons in any temple.  We are very blessed to have eight temples to choose from when some members don’t have one!  We were often asked to be the witness couple in spite of my shaking hand and my weak voice.  I felt the Lord was reminding me of my calling to be a witness.  I need my voice to be a witness, so I was determined to heal the physical and emotional issues affecting my voice.  

I always loved sharing light and truth to bless and uplift others.  I’m happiest when I’m serving and meeting people,  much like my parents who always loved every person they met.   Perhaps this is my life’s purpose and mission.  I‘m sure I said these words before I came to earth,    “Here I am, send me,  I will go and  be a witness for truth.” The scriptures say, “If ye have the desire you are called to the work.”   But sometimes my fears keep me from opening my mouth!  Fear is my worst enemy!  I want to share but the adversary holds me back with fear! 

This is the paradox of my life!  My book put me in the lime light  more than I like, I’d rather be in the background and watch others shine. Moving to a new ward would bring more opportunities to make friends, but I felt old and tired.  Perhaps I could hide behind our daughter, Cindy, and no one would notice me.  I was already looking at my new life through “dark glasses” and the Lord humbled me with a cyst in my eye.  Cysts are caused by old stuck emotions that need to be released.  This was another opportunity to see and change my weaknesses!     The scriptures teach:

“Verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you;  and, if you desire, you shall be the  means of doing much good in this generation.  Behold, thou shalt have a gift if thou wilt desire of me in faith, with an honest heart, believing in the power of Jesus Christ…...for behold, it is I that speak;  I am the light which shineth in darkness, and by my power I give these words unto thee.”  D&C:  11:  8, 10, 11

The Lord blessed us and loosened our tongues whenever we spoke about Cambodia.  He sharpened our minds and carried us when we gave our farewell talk in our South Jordan ward, but my shaking was so bad I could hardly hold my papers.   I believe in the power of Jesus Christ, I believe that he can heal all my weaknesses and turn them into strengths.  The scriptures teach us to “Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work.”  Doctrine & Covenants  10: 5    Through prayer and faith in Christ I hoped to conquer my fear of speaking.  

Our home in South Jordan miraculously sold quickly and for more than its appraisal, in spite of the poor housing market. I left my beautiful home in South Jordan to start again, just like I did in Taylorsville, Sandy and Grantsville!   We spent the few short weeks waiting for our house to be finished visiting Shelly in California and staying in Missy’s basement in Saratoga Springs.  It was a sweet opportunity to enjoy our precious grandchildren, and our grandson, Tyler, finally began to make friends with us! 

                                                Our shy grandson,  Tyler.

I gratefully acknowledge the Lord’s blessings in all of these things.   Kirk built us a beautiful home, our fifth brand new home.  It was as close to a perfect home as possible.  Kirk and his workers were always kind and pleasant and easy to work with and they finished our home in just ninety days!  It turned out to be a good experience after all!  

Our new home nearly finished!                 

CHAPTER THREE TRIALS AT HOME

CHAPTER THREE

TRIALS  AT HOME

After our trip to Cambodia I went to a see a doctor about my shaking hand and painful tailbone. Constantly feeling weak and sick with flu like symptoms  made me  question whether there was something seriously wrong with my health.  I always loved inviting people to dinner, now every part of my body hurt when I worked in the kitchen for just a few hours.  I blamed the extra weight I gained since our mission, but Wilf was still strong with his extra weight and I couldn’t keep up with him.  Health problems were a new and unwelcome experience for me; I hoped I wasn’t becoming one of the many sick among us. 

                                     Abundance of food and family at home!

The doctor suspected I had a benign essential tremor and a Tarlof cyst on my spine, so she ordered an MRI.  I hated the MRI, the “tunnel of terror,” but it showed the cysts on my tail bone and I was grateful to find answers.  Cysts were causing the pain in my back and possibly the reason I was weak and slow. The doctor referred me to a physical therapist who showed me exercises to strengthen my body and regain muscle strength.       

Wilf’s swallowing problem was getting worse but the doctors  didn’t have any answers for him, so we went to see our friend, Becky Johnson,  a master herbalist and energy worker.  She said we both needed more raw fruit and vegetable juices in our diets.  Returning to the SAD – STANDARD AMERICAN DIET- didn’t do us any good!  We were better off living in Cambodia with all the wonderful fruits, vegetables and coconuts.  It was time to begin a healthier lifestyle and exercise program.  Years earlier I healed a stomach ulcer, bladder infections, and arthritis with diet and herbs.   Hopefully I could also turn these health problems around.    

Heidi, my sweet friend and a gifted healer, did energy work and spinal touch on my back and  I felt the heavy pressure leave my body as she worked on me.  It was surprising how much pressure I was carrying, no wonder cysts were pressing down on my spine.  There was pressure with our son’s business; we were up to our ears in financial entanglements just to keep it going, and pressure to finish my book, plus pressure trying to keep up with our large family.  We were speaking about our mission in church firesides and keeping the Job Foundation going.  It was time to stop running faster than we have strength, and let go of the pressures at home that were weighing us down.   

Wilf was also helping his Dad, who was failing fast.  He and his siblings set up a schedule so Dad could live at  home, but only three weeks into the new schedule he suddenly passed away.   We were in California with Shelly when we got the phone call that he was gone.    It was hard losing our one remaining parent, and we were devastated that he died alone with us far away.  We flew home and went straight to his lonely house.  His spirit had finally fled his earthly prison and we were happy for him.  His children planned his funeral and sorted through the remnants of his life.  He saved every penny so he could leave everything to his five children, who planned and carried out his funeral with love and cooperation.  They were amazing and I felt privileged to be part of them.  

                                                The Stagg family at Dad's grave.

Our family continued to grow with the untimely birth of our tiny granddaughter, Arianna, our 33^rd grandchild.  She was born twelve weeks early when Lori suddenly went into premature labor.  She came so fast there was nothing that could be done to stop her.  We all knew it would be a miracle if she lived, but we believe in miracles!  If anybody can bring on miracles it is Ron and Lori!  They are so faithful and obedient!               

                                            Tiny granddaughter, born too soon.

George Q. Cannon said,  “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, God will never desert us.  He never has and He never will. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed.  We shall emerge through these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them, if we only trust in our God and keep his commandments.”             

We were up to our ears in the deep waters again and needed to give our burdens and pressures to the Savior.   He carried me through all the trials of our mission, and would also carry me at home if I let him.

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;  and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee;  when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.  For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior.”  Isaiah 43: 2-3

After many hours at the computer I thought my book was finished.  I was excited to meet   Georgia Davis from Lunar Publishing, who also served a mission to Cambodia with her husband.  She agreed to look at my book and help me publish it.  I planned to print enough copies for my family, but Karyn Grant, my friend and gifted spiritual healer, told me I should order five hundred copies.  She said my mission wasn’t finished yet,  I still had work to do and the Lord was leading me where he wanted me to go.  She suggested I get more rest plus  drink  Asea water to help restore my health.   

It took many more hours working with Georgia, rewriting and editing, but my book was finally complete and at the printers. I felt the Lord’s help writing the tender story about the death of my parents, and healing my grief and guilt.  Instead of charging for my book I decided to accept donations for our Job Foundation.  It was so exciting when Georgia and her husband delivered the heavy boxes of my finished book and I saw it in print.   I had so much fun giving  it to  family and friends, but I was disappointed in the mistakes and small pictures.  I’m a perfectionist so it would never be good enough! 

                                                        Finished at last!

When my sister, Vicki, read my book she cried and said it was all true and the best thing she ever read.  I was so touched I also cried, maybe it was written especially for her!   I was amazed how many people loved reading my book and were inspired by it.  People came to my  home  wanting copies and gave us donations for the Foundation.  All the donations we received went to help the members in Cambodia!  We received this sweet message from the senior couple serving in Battambang:

“We have realized (watching from the sidelines) how much your Foundation has affected the lives of the people in Battambang.  We see the people who have been taught how to read their own language.  When we listen to the members play the piano we can tie their abilities directly back to you and your Foundation.  At difficult times in their lives many members have received food.  Thank you so much.  Many people serve missions and then go home and their mission is but a wonderful memory.  In your case you have kept on serving and we are so impressed with the service you have given the LDS community here in Battambang.  You have made an impact on the members here that seems in many ways to keep on giving.” 

The truth is the members in Cambodia have made an eternal impact on us and our mission keeps giving back to us!  We finally attended the Cambodian Branch in Salt Lake City and we loved meeting the members.  I was blessed to remember the language and I bore my testimony in Khmer.  It was a joy worshipping with Khmer members and we felt  the same sweet spirit we found in Cambodia.  Surely the Lord must love these humble and gracious people!    

                                  Member family receiving much needed food.

We loved teaching firesides about our mission and telling everyone about the beautiful members in Cambodia and showing our mission pictures.  Every time we spoke about our mission we were energized and filled with the Spirit!  We gratefully received donations for our foundation when they ask for my books.  The gift of the Holy Ghost is a wonderful blessing that energizes me and puts words in my mouth.  I missed those experiences that are so common for missionaries, but sharing our mission experiences was the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done.  Speaking about Cambodia and the wonderful members brought me so much joy and enthusiasm without any fear or trembling!  It was a miracle! 

“Behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring souls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father.”   Doctrine & Covenants 15: 6

           Member family in Hong Kong  sealed in the temple.

In spite of our health problems and trials at home my heart was filled with gratitude for our missions to Rose Park and Cambodia, the sweetest work I’ve ever done!  Our tiny granddaughter not only survived but is a strong and healthy little girl who brings joy to our family!   Miracles never cease for those who believe! 

 

                                                       Arianna Stagg, a miracle baby!

CHAPTER TWO THE CAMBODIA JOB FOUNDATION

CHAPTER TWO

THE CAMBODIA JOB FOUNDATION

We worried about the poverty of our members in Cambodia because there are very few jobs for them to support their families.  After much thought and prayer we started a small foundation -  “The Cambodia Job Foundation.”  Mary agreed to organize branch members in Battambang to teach piano and reading.   Our foundation would pay hourly wages so members could save for missions and temple trips.  Mary and Sda Yin, the first Branch President in Battambang, organized a Sub for Santa program at Christmas time for the poorest families. We sent all donations to our foundation to Mary for the members. 

                                      A handicapped member teaching reading.

We hoped to help in other ways so we  returned to Cambodia to look for possibilities.  How quickly I’d forgotten how long the flights were and how hard it is for old folks to travel that far!  Memory is always much more nostalgic than accurate!  I’d forgotten about the dire circumstances  and extreme poverty of the people, but returning to Cambodia brought it all back!  This trip was very different and we felt lonely and far away from home, on our  own errand without the mantle and calling of missionaries!    

We stayed In Phnom Penh for a few days and visited several returned missionaries and their families.  We met the new mission president and his wife, President and Sister Smedley,   and we attended the International Branch.  In Battambang, we visited beloved member families  and attended both branches.  We were all happy to see each other again and they laughed about my weight and patted my chubby middle.   We did all the things  I wanted to do before we left the mission, plus spent lots of time with Mary, Sda and Angel, and Elder and Sister Reynolds, our replacements. 

We didn't find any other opportunities for the foundation, so we gave Mary instructions to manage the projects and took pictures of the recipients.  Mary needed employment as much as the other members.  We spent time with Elder and Sister Gartz and Elder and Sister Walwork, returned missionaries who were visiting in Phnom Penh.  Cambodian members are forever in the hearts of the missionaries who serve them!  After three weeks we were ready to return home to our life in America.  

Our family was growing faster than we could keep up with them.  It was time for us to get to know our beautiful new grandbabies!   

                               Blessing day for our new granddaughter!

It was time to finish writing my book, “Conquering My Fears in Cambodia – My Mission of Miracles.”  While serving as a missionary I started writing chapters, now it was much more difficult finding the time and the desire to write.  Sitting at the computer increased the pain in my tailbone, but I loved recording precious missionary moments.  Missionary work was the  sweetest work we’d ever done!  I felt an urgency to write about our mission to encourage other seniors to experience this same joy.  I spent many hours writing and correcting each chapter because I am such a perfectionist!  Sitting at the computer took a toll on my body and my legs got weaker and my muscles atrophied.  I was very grateful when it was finished so I could resume my life!  Our new mission was already unfolding and we were busy  teaching firesides about Cambodia, plus making up for lost time with our children and grandchildren!    

                            Our granddaughter,  Brittany 's graduation.

On a snowy April morning we drove to the MTC to see Poyi Sorn, our sweet young housekeeper in Cambodia, who had been called to serve her mission in California.  She earned the money for her mission by working for our foundation,  teaching illiterate members to read.  She worked hard for us in Cambodia,   now we were blessed to help her in our country.  When we arrived at the MTC we saw three beautiful young sisters anxiously waiting for us to escort them to the Provo Temple;  Poyi and her two beautiful companions from Mongolia and the Marshall Islands.   Poyi ran into my arms and we hugged each other.  She was very brave coming to America all by herself.  These three young ladies knew very little English but were going to English speaking missions.  We spent the next four hours in the temple, with these young women.  Each one wore a headset for her own language. 

                                     Poyi and companions at the Provo Temple.

It was a wonderful blessing being Poyi’s escort as she took out her endowments.  She loved the temple and received everything with humility and great joy.  We took pictures outside the temple; even though it was cold it was still beautiful.   Poyi was very happy; she loved the snow, the flowers, the fountains and the temple!  It was a privilege for us to be with her on that special day,  just one of the many blessings from our amazing mission and our  foundation! 

I wondered how Poyi would handle living in the United States.  Life is so glitzy and modern compared to Cambodia - the stores, the theaters, the homes and decorations - no wonder Americans are spoiled and worldly!  I was worried about her eating the standard American diet which causes health and weight problems.  Our health and weight were already suffering.  We have such an abundance of food and everything else in America,  so much we cannot receive it all!  It would be a blessing for every American to live in a third world country, even for a little while, perhaps more of us would share our abundance with the poor and the needy.

Our mission made us much more aware of the poor people around the world and in our own country.  We thought about Jackie, our Navajo foster daughter, living on the reservation in New Mexico and we decided to visit her after all these years.  It was very sweet reconnecting with her and meeting her husband and seven children.   We had been unaware of her situation and her hard life until then.  In our own country there are people as poor as those in Cambodia. Financial worries are one of the primary causes of depression, even in our country.  I am grateful to awaken from the dream that all is well in Zion and especially grateful that we can help our foster daughter.  If we are dedicated to helping others our lives will never lose meaning, but if our purpose is financial success then we will never attain true happiness.

                                       
                                      Visiting Jackie at her home in New Mexico.

We were excited when our foundation received several thousand dollars in donations from family and friends.  In a small way we were helping our poor and needy brothers and sisters in Cambodia.  I look forward to the time when Zion will be established and there will be no poor among us.  We cannot build Zion until we are obedient to the things which the Lord requires and impart of our substance, “as becometh saints, to the poor and afflicted” among us.  (D&C  105: 3)  But the Lord says,  “it must we done in mine own way” (D&C 104: 16) otherwise we may hurt them.  The Lord tells us that we need to promote self-reliance and not give what they can and should do for themselves.  The best way for Latter Day Saints to give is through fast offerings. 

                                         Food and gifts for this member family.

"Behold, I say unto you, that ye must visit the poor and the needy and administer to their relief, that they may be kept until all things may be done according to my law which ye have received.  And remember in all things the poor and the needy,  the sick and the afflicted, for he that doeth not these things, the same is not my disciple."  (D&C 44: 6,  52: 40)

It’s a great time to be alive, a time when latter-day glories are unfolding.  I’m grateful to be here for such a time as this!   If we have good health we can be part of the great day of the Lord, but if we are among the sick it could be the terrible day of the Lord!  If we have poor health we won’t be able to serve missions and build Zion, especially in those developing countries where missionaries are so urgently needed!      

   

CHAPTER ONE HOME FROM CAMBODIA

 

CHAPTER ONE

HOME FROM CAMBODIA

Our mission to Cambodia was over!  We excitedly walked through the airport corridor where we found our very large family waiting with   yellow balloons and welcome home banners.  What a beautiful sight it was!   With more than 50 members of our family waiting it was hard to hug each precious person, but what joy it was to be reunited after so many months.  The children had grown a lot;  we could barely recognize them and the  babies didn’t like us at all! 

                           Our family at the airport with yellow balloons.

We all drove to our home where we visited for several hours.  Missy had stocked the refrigerator with food – yummy American food!  We were really home!  It was  a glorious time!  After living in Cambodia everything was extra beautiful, clean and luxurious.  All the homes looked big and spacious and the yards were green and beautiful.  Spring flowers were in blossom but snow was still covering the mountains.  We loved seeing those beautiful mountains again!

How wonderful to resume our life at home with our family,  but my parents were gone and my life would never return to the way it was when I left for Cambodia.  Our mission work was a big distraction from the grief at home,  now the time had come to face their deaths.  Thankfully, Wilf’s Dad was still alive and we were home in time to celebrate his 90^th birthday!

                                  Dad's posterity at his 90th birthday party.

As we re-entered our old life,  I tried to hold on to the lessons I learned in Cambodia -  to walk with faith in every footstep and trust the Lord in all things.  I hoped to live the rest of my life this way!  We were not the only ones who had changed, there was a big difference in our children.  They had moved on without us, independent and happy in their own families. I deeply felt the absence of my parents; their empty house was cold and lonely but filled with precious memories.  Each week got better and my tears became fewer as the reality set in that they were gone.  My life was now centered around my husband and children.  

                              Wilf reading with Sarah, our granddaughter.

Each night as I knelt in prayer, in my own home, surrounded by beautiful snow capped mountains and the modern lights of the Salt Lake Valley, I was filled with gratitude, awe and wonder!   How could it be that a few short weeks ago I lived in a primitive and poor country surrounded by beautiful Cambodian friends and beloved missionaries!  My mission truly was a miracle!     I just wanted to be still and process the amazing events of the past two years, and wait  on the Lord to guide me through the rest of my life!   

                         Dinner at our house with our Elders and Sisters. 

After the simple life of our mission, everything at home felt more complicated;  there was  so much “stuff” everywhere.  We were very busy getting our home  in order,  selling Mom and Dad’s house,  and helping our sons in their business,  but  none of it seemed as important as our missionary  work.  We longed for the simple life of a missionary,  wearing our missionary  “tags” and “uniforms” and we especially missed the people.  We grieved together as we faced the complicated and fast paced world at home. 

                             My star piano student, Phaury, playing for us.

All too quickly we were back in our old life, eating in restaurants with friends and family.  Everywhere I went I was surrounded by expensive and  delicious American food;  I soon realized it would be nearly impossible  to  keep my slimmer mission weight.  No wonder most Americans are heavy compared to the tiny people in Cambodia;  eating out is everyone’s favorite pastime!  It’s such a waste of money and way too much food.  Even though I tried to control my appetite, the weight I lost in Cambodia soon began to appear.  

Happy to be back in the mountains! 

Typical of my entire life, my teeth problems came again.   One of my bottom molars had to be pulled.  The pain was so bad I finally agreed to let the tooth go.  My new dentist had a horrible time getting it out, worse than any wisdom tooth.  He had to dig for an hour,  the roots wouldn’t let go – they were holding on tight!   How symbolic is that!  I have generational “root” issues that hold on tightly when you try to remove them.     

After a painful dry socket that took weeks to heal, I was done with suffering from my teeth!   The dentist said 99% of his patients haven’t been through what I have;   he said my xrays looked like a war zone equivalent to four tours of duty in Vietnam.  I was grateful for his validation;  somebody finally understood what I’d been through with my teeth.  Thank heavens for implants that replace missing teeth and  give me another chance to “chew” my life correctly.    

We thought we had good health but I was tired all the time and short of breath, perhaps my  fatigue was caused by my return to a higher altitude.  After the extreme heat in Cambodia I was freezing all the time.  The tremor in my hand seemed to get  worse in Cambodia,  but even at home my hand was still shaking.   I thought the pain in my tailbone came from sitting on hard chairs in Cambodia, but now I was sitting on comfortable soft chairs and it was getting worse.   Wilf’s swallowing problem that caused him so much trouble in Cambodia was still bothering him and the doctors didn’t know how to help him. 

Our family felt burdened down with the challenges of these tumultuous and difficult times and  I felt heavy - mentally, emotionally physically, and financially.  In many ways our mission was easy compared to life at home!   It was the best thing we ever did, many lives were blessed, including our own family, plus sharing those tender times together made our marriage sweeter.  We hoped to get our health and our house in order so we could serve another mission.  The scriptures teach:  

“Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;  For behold the field is white already to harvest; and he that thrusteth in his sickle with his might, the same layeth up in store that he perisheth not, but bringeth salvation to his soul.”      D&C 4: 3,4

                              Sister Bun Ly,  a beautiful soul!   

The field is white and ready to harvest and we were excited to thrust in our sickle again!