CHAPTER TEN MY SHAKING GRANDMOTHER

CHAPTER TEN

MY SHAKING GRANDMOTHER

I didn’t understand the seriousness of Parkinson’s disease when I was diagnosed, but I knew I should fight back while I still have strength.  I’m learning everything I can to help myself and others who may follow in my footsteps.  It’s possible the DNA marker runs in my family.  Many of my relatives have Benign Essential Tremors which looks like Parkinson’s.   My grandmother, Hattie Roper Farmer, had Encephalitis or brain fever when my mother was a child and later in her life she was diagnosed with Encephalitis induced Parkinson’s. 

When I was a young girl this little white-haired grandmother came to stay with us for a few weeks.  She was like a frightened child herself, probably overwhelmed in our home with so many active children.  She moved about our house slowly, clinging to her purse, her only security.  I was curious about her but didn’t know how to talk to her.  She shuffled as she walked, and her hands and arms shook so much she couldn’t dress herself.  It was even hard for her to feed herself.  Most of the time she just sat and watched the comings and goings in our busy home.  I was too young to know what was wrong with her, but the memory of her is still with me.  When I was old enough to understand my mother told me her sad story.    

My grandmother, Hattie Roper Farmer, was born in 1894 in Preston, Idaho.  We found this sweet   picture of her in a box, in the home of my aunt.  It was dated 1897.

Hattie was a brilliant young woman – graduating from the 8^th grade with the highest grades in the county.  She was very smart in botany, music and mathematics, winning the math competition in her entire county.   In high school she was elected class president and  valedictorian of her graduating class in 1914.   She loved to memorize and was outstanding in elocution and public speaking.  She taught Relief Society and played the piano beautifully, and played for the choir.  She loved to dance and had many escorts to dances and parties, because she was very popular and had so many friends.   

Shortly after her graduation from high school she was married in the Logan Temple to Roy Farmer.  She was a sweet bride who supported her husband when he was called to serve a mission in the eastern states, leaving her with three small children to support.  While her husband was gone for two years, she worked in the high school cafeteria to provide for her family. 

                                         My mother is the baby in this picture.

When she was 28 years old she became deathly ill with Encephalitis, or brain fever. Her fever was critically high and she was out of her head for the next seventeen days.  Although she   recovered she was never the same.  She was captive in a body that demanded sleep.  The once brilliant and talented young mother and wife was gone and in her place was a quiet woman who slept and watched as her seven young children grew up.     

She slept while her mother and mother in law took care of her babies.  She slept as her children, four boys and three girls, came and went in their young lives without a mother to nurture or teach them.   She slept while her husband worked hard raising and providing for his family.  Doctors and family members advised him to take her way from her children, but he would not listen.  She had been his companion and sweetheart, now she slept and watched as the world swirled around her.

My grandfather took her to many doctors and admitted her to a mental institution for evaluation, but there were no answers or explanations for her condition.  There was nothing anyone could do but love her and take care of her.  No amount of money could restore what was lost.   Her hair turned white as snow and her hands shook so much she was unable to do the beautiful tatting and embroidery she used to do.  She no longer played the piano.  Her happy spirit lay dormant inside her damaged brain.  Her oldest daughter quit school when she was fourteen years old and raised her younger brothers and sisters, and she lovingly cared for her mother until she passed away at the age of 67. 

                                                Hattie in her last years. 

 Her children wrote this for her funeral:

We remember first her loveliness, delicate, pure and fair,

Her soft warm cheek, round which was curled, her lovely soft white hair.

We remember too, her trials, which were hers alone to bear, 

Without complaint, she bore them well, what no one else could share. 

We remember well her innocence, so like a child was she,

 No moral sin to mar her life, or stain her memory. 

My grandmother had a form of Parkinson’s brought on by Encephalitis.  Brain trauma can be a factor in Parkinson’s.  It’s possible that my brain concussion and skull fracture played a part in my illness. It’s also possible there is a DNA marker for Parkinson’s in my family that was triggered by heavy metals. Mercury poisoning looks very much like Parkinson’s and I tested high in mercury, aluminum, lead and arsenic.  There are more neuro-degenerative diseases now than ever before because of our toxic environment.    

Years ago my grandmother, Hattie,  came to me in a dream.  I dreamt I was busy running around in my crazy house with lots of people coming and going and my children crying for attention.  I looked at my piano and heard my grandmother saying, “Will you play for me?”  I didn’t know if she meant for me to play the piano, or just be more playful. I believed that work always came before play! My life has been a sweet story compared to hers.  Now I’m experiencing a small portion of her life, not as a young woman but in my older years. I feel a strong connection to her. I am also a shaking grandmother! 

My grandmother is reaching through the veil to assist me in my challenges.  I feel her speaking to me, “I understand what you’re going through and I will assist you in fulfilling the mission you were sent here to do.  Thank you dear grandmother!            

Hattie with her younger sister.

CHAPTER NINE PRIDE AND PARKINSON'S

CHAPTER NINE

PRIDE AND PARKINSON’S 

Some days I feel like I’m in the biggest race of my life – trying to detox and rebuild faster than the cells of my brain die and leave me unable to function.   Parkinson’s dis-ease appears to be winning the race, moving fast, robbing me of my ability to function like a normal person and stripping me of all pride. My seen and unseen pockets of pride are being exposed!  Parkinson’s is a “pride buster” that is affecting me and  my family!    

The tremors are connected to my emotions and get worse when I’m upset or cold.  Air conditioned buildings are especially hard for me,  so I take a blanket  or a jacket with me to keep warm as well as hide the tremors.  Parkinson’s is an attention magnet that makes me hide and shrink.  I am learning lessons about pride and letting go.  Becky firmly told me I need to be more positive and let go of performance,  and the fear of what people think, the fear of not being good enough, and negative thinking.  She said I can heal my body if I change my thoughts.  God is showing me what I need to change, if I’ll pay attention and let go of pride and these destructive behaviors.  The purification process continues as Parkinson’s unearths a whole new layer of my weaknesses.   

                                              Letting go of fear!

Parkinson’s disease was first described in 1817 by James Parkinson.  The average age of onset is 57 years of age, but can occur as early as age 30.  The most damage occurs in the substantia nigra of the midbrain, but there can be extensive damage to other areas of the brain.  Damage can also occur in the nervous system and affect the body’s ability to detoxify harmful elements.  Thirty five percent of patients will eventually develop dementia.

Scientists believe that Parkinson’s is an inflammatory disease linked to trauma, exposure to toxic metals, pesticides, herbicides, vaccinations and infections. Everyday we are exposed to enormous amounts of dangerous chemicals when we spray our homes, yards, golf courses, and parks and work in buildings treated by pesticide services.  People with Parkinson’s have weak detoxification enzymes in their neurons and liver; when exposed to toxins the poison is not detoxified and enters the brain to do its damage.

Glutathione plays a major role in protecting all cells, especially brain cells against mercury toxicity.   People with low levels of glutathione are at a much greater risk of mercury damage to the brain and developing Parkinson’s.  The factors that lower glutathione are brain injury, strokes, diabetes, toxins and infections. When I was a teenager I was hiking in the mountains with my friends and a rock slide came down on us.   I was hit on the head by a large rock the size of a cantaloupe.  I had a brain concussion and a fractured skull.  Head injuries like this can cause an overactive limbic system, a short attention span, cluttered thinking, negative thinking, a stiff neck and repeating mistakes, as though the brain is stuck.   It’s possible that this brain injury caused some of my extreme behaviors and set the stage for Parkinson’s.  It’s also possible there is a DNA marker for Parkinson’s in my family that was triggered by heavy metals as well as my brain injury.

                                      Fifteen years old - age of brain injury. 

Because we live in such a toxic world we are seeing many more neuro degenerative diseases.  Modern medical treatments rarely address any of these issues, instead they try to replace lost neurotransmitters.  These treatments can aggravate the situation and cause even more rapid deterioration. In the 1970’s a new treatment called L-dopa appeared and was said to be a cure for the problem.  Many dramatic successes were being reported.

Dr. Russell L. Blaylock, a neurosurgeon who watched both of his parents suffer and die with Parkinson’s, devoted his life to finding answers.  He made it his personal mission to inform and educate others about the prevention and treatment of this devastating neurological disorder so they will not suffer as his family did.  Dr. Blaylock tried every traditional medical treatment for his father and mother but none seemed to help.  He watched helplessly as his father went from a “robust, energetic man of great humor to a weak, emaciated shadow of his former self.”   His mother simply gave up when she was diagnosed and stopped fighting the disease.  He said both his parents had “always emphasized exercise and a good diet and took an assortment of vitamins, but most of their vitamins were poorly compounded.”  Dr. Blaylock wrote:

“Normally the immune cells, the microglia, are in a resting state – they are snoozing, but when the brain is at risk of being attacked these sleeping microglia spring to life and travel around the brain and create all kinds of havoc.   In most brain diseases the connections in the brain are most damaged and not the cells.  This is good because it means that if the correct steps are taken early enough, more serious damage can be averted.  In many cases a person can have dramatic improvement.  A recent study found that the incidence of neuro-degenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and Lou Gehrig’s disease,  has increased in far greater numbers than previously suspected and are occurring at much earlier ages than before.  The onset was usually in the 70’s and 80’s but now it’s in the 50’’s and 60’s.  Some victims are in their early twenties and thirties."    

Another finding is that vaccinations can dramatically increase one’s risk of developing a devastating neuro-degenerative disease.  Vaccinations can increase the sensitivity to toxins, especially mercury.  Dr. Blaylock believes:  

“Vaccinating pregnant women with the flu vaccine may very well put their babies at a much greater risk of developing Parkinson’s when they grow up.  Giving the elderly more vaccines is also of great concern, since this can set the stage for chronic brain inflammation.  Studies have shown that a single vaccination can activate destructive microglia activation that can last for years, the same as pesticide and drug exposures. Parkinson’s is not caused by a deficiency in dopamine, inflammation appears to be the trigger. There are no visible symptoms of Parkinson’s until almost 50 percent of the neurons in the substantia nigra have been killed.  When a person is finally diagnosed 70 percent or more of the neurons are dead and the remainder are quite sick.  This leaves little to work with, but even these cases are not hopeless.”    

He believes you can fight back!  He recommends a healthy diet and the right supplements to calm microglia and fight inflammation. For the past 26 years Dr. Blaylock has practiced neurosurgery in addition to having a nutritional practice.  He recently retired from his neurosurgical duties to devote his full attention to nutritional studies.  He said:     

“Regular exercise reduces brain degeneration and promotes brain healing.  Moderate exercise such as walking, weights and resistance are best, causing the brain to release special healing neurotrophic substances.  Adequate rest, regular mental activity and spending time with friends and family are also important and spiritual devotion is vital.” 

                                 Biking with my grandson, Jet Stagg

Some scientists believe that when exposed to strong electric fields, the brain’s tiny magnets may re-orient themselves, disrupting the normal flow of materials in and out of cells, affecting the health and rate of activity of the cells.  Electrical magnetic factors, or EMFs, can affect communication among nerve cells resulting in neurological diseases.  Exposure to abnormal electromagnetic fields results in significant abnormalities in physiology and function.  Electromagnetic pollution may be compounded by exposures to other dangerous environmental or chemical substances called exotoxins, including such heavy metals as mercury, aluminum, arsenic or lead.  I tested high in all of these. 

Other dangers include chemical hydrocarbons, pesticides, herbicides and thousands of new substances introduced into our modern day environment. These toxins may result in near total immune system breakdown for some individuals.  Continued exposure may lead to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, SIDS, Alzheimer’s Disease, Parkinson’s Disease, cancer and mental illnesses.  Some doctors haven’t recognized the rising cases of environmental diseases.       

“The more serious the illness, the more important it is for you to fight back, mobilizing all your resources - spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical.”  Norman Cousins 

I am fighting back!  I’m exploring every option, not just following the standard medical treatments.  Dr. Allen suggested glutathione injections for detoxification and acupuncture to clear my meridians or electrical circuits.   He recommends whole food supplements to detoxify the heavy metals along with supplements from Dr. Blaylock’s protocol.  I feel better after his oxygen treatments and acupuncture.  If there is a drug, a clinic, a treatment or even surgery that will help me I am willing to try it.  I hope to regenerate my brain and nervous system with nutrition.  My question is - will the degeneration go faster than the regeneration?    My future is unknown and fearful but I believe God can heal me if that is his plan for me.

I want to have faith like the pioneer women who went before me.  When Bathsheba W. Smith  left beautiful Nauvoo to make the long trek across the plains, she said:

“My last act in that precious spot was to tidy the rooms, sweep up the floor, and set the broom in its place behind the door.  Then with emotions in my heart..I gently closed the door and faced an unknown future, faced it with faith in God.”

Like this pioneer woman, I will face my unknown future walking with faith in God.  We are in his hands!   

Walking with faith in Cambodia!

CHAPTER EIGHT A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF RAW FOODS

CHAPTER EIGHT

A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF RAW FOODS

I faithfully followed Becky’s protocol,  drank  smoothies and carrot juice, ate fruits,  vegetables, nuts and seeds and learned to sprout and make fermented Kombucha tea.  I was surprised how weak I am and how hard it was facing a future without the foods I loved.    I learned about addictions I never knew I had!  There were always voices in my head telling me to eat bread, chips, cookies, candy or cheese.  Sometimes I'm weak but there are times I’m strong and make better choices.  It's time to find meaning and fun in other things beside  food.   

Food was never supposed to be the comforter!  The Holy Ghost is the true comforter, but sometimes we comfort ourselves with food and the things of this world.  The Holy Ghost, the true comforter,  is a wonderful gift.   The Lord said, "And I will send upon him the Comforter, which shall teach him the truth and the way whither he shall go.......Wherefore, let your heart be glad, and fear not, saith your Lord, even Jesus Christ." Doctrine and Covenants 79: 2-4  The Holy Ghost will help us overcome our addictions.  I have two brothers who are addicted to alcohol but I'm no different than an alcoholic when it comes to food and desserts.  I need God's help to conquer my addictions! 

When I find evidence that supports a raw diet it's easier to stay on course.

“Living under conditions of modern life, it is important to bear in mind that the refinement, over processing and cooking of food products either entirely eliminates or in part destroys the vital elements in the original material.”  United States Department of Agriculture 

Apostle John A. Widtsoe said,  “…plants contain all necessary food substances: proteins, fats, starches, and other carbohydrates, minerals,  water and vitamins.  The great builder of the earth provided well for the physical needs of his children.”

Hippocrates, the father of medicine said,  “That wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, your food shall be your medicine and your medicine shall be your food.” 

For thousands of years, plants have been a primary source of medicinal healing.  Herbal teas are combinations of nutrient rich herbs that help keep the body balanced and healthy.  They’re a wonderful part of family medicine.  Greens are one of the easiest and best foods you can add to your diet.  They’re packed with nutrients - iron, calcium, potassium, magnesium, folate, vitamins K, C, E and many of the B vitamins.  They’re  low in carbohydrates and rich in fiber;  slow to digest and help you feel full longer. They enhance elimination plus are good for the immune system. 

                                             My garden of greens and herbs.

My new life centers on making smoothies, drying and freezing food, and sprouting.  Most of my food is blended, which is perfect for Wilf.  Dr. Ann Wigmore, who discovered the healing properties of wheat grass juice, lived the last several years of her life almost completely on blended foods, a large part consisted of sprouts and greens.  She noticed her blended foods were assimilated more easily.  She even blended her apples so not to waste energy.  She noticed that eating blended foods gave her superior health and cut her hours of sleep down to two hours per night. She was in excellent health, always running, never walking, and at the age of 82, she didn’t have a single gray hair.

Blending is good but it’s nice to have food to chew. There are many raw food books with delicious recipes including raw macaroons, banana nut cookies, varieties of salads, kale chips, maple nuts, and a key lime pie.    I especially love a delicious raw tomato soup with lemon juice, garlic, zucchini, cucumbers and avocado.  Wilf makes fresh juice with carrots, celery, beets and apples.  There is no shortage of things to eat;  it's plentiful, most desirable and easy to prepare!  There is so much variety and abundance we need two refrigerators! 

                               

                            My family prepared all RAW foods for my birthday!

After a few weeks eating raw, cooked foods begin to lose their appeal!  When I see people loading their plates with cooked foods I feel sad for them.  Satan must be pleased and I can almost hear him laughing.   I pray for strength to turn away from the cooked food I love!    

My weight finally started going down  instead of up, an added blessing, plus Wilf’s swallowing problem improved as he followed  the smoothie and fresh juice diet along with me.  We make fresh orange juice every morning and he keeps us supplied with fresh vegetable juice. I couldn't do this without him! Parkinson’s also changed his life!    

The holidays are very different without our favorite treats.  Holidays are all about sweets and treats and I have a hard time resisting the candy,  bread and chips.  I was disgusted with my lack of self control!  I was weak like a smoker who returned to smoking!  I tried to think less of food and more of Christ, and I continually asked God for strength.       

Depression is part of Parkinson’s and can come over me in an instant; it's those times  I want something sweet to eat.  but sugar makes the tremors worse.  If I took the drugs  for Parkinson’s perhaps I could eat more sweets but the weight would come back.  I have to remind myself it’s not worth it! 

                                              An Ode to Raw Christmas      by Lori Clayton

Do delusions of Sugar Plums spin in your head, While you lie wide awake just envisioning bread? Does that pretty black dress seem a little too small?   Did your feet take a beating at the local mall?  Do you go to the parties in deep contemplation,  Just wondering how to get past  temptation?  Trade the cocktails for mocktails, don’t pack on the pounds!  Give your colon a break or  you’ll feel slightly bound.  Take a deep breath and exhale, pop an enzyme or two,  Try a foot rub, a scalp rub,  raw cookies will do.  Have a bite here or there, no need to deprive, But remember how raw food makes you feel so alive!  Be true to yourself, cuz it’s all up to you!  Give a smile,  a hug,  eat a kale chip or two!

When the parties are over and the fun’s all been had,  You’ll wake up next year and you’ll feel very glad,  That you watched what you ate and you knew how to breathe,  You’ll feel rather great and have little to grieve.  Go out for a walk with a spring in your step,  So happy were you to have NOT overslept!  Find a cooked or SAD person who’s walking too slow,  Just sit down and tell them the treasures you know!  Blessings surround with each apple slice,  The chard wraps, the spinach, it’s all very nice!  Be grateful and humble you are who you are,  Because of your diet you shine like a star!!!

It may not be easy but it would be worth it if I could get my health back.  It's a good way to lose weight because it’s much easier to overeat cooked foods than raw foods! I still cook for my family but I try to eat  salad, veggies and fruits.  When we go out to dinner I eat salads, or vegetarian and I order the most benign thing on the menu.  I've discovered that I enjoy being with people more than eating like I used to.  

                                                  Having fun with our family. 

One of the most amazing ways we can take control of our life is in our food choices.  Food can give us vibrant energy or make us tired.  It can ensure our health or cause disease.  It can be a slow poison or our best medicine.  Eating natural, raw  and organic food is  necessary if we want health and harmony in our body, mind and spirit.  This is essential for joyful living.   We become what we take into our bodies, physically and mentally.  If we want to live in the land of paradise, we must drink lots of pure clean water and eat the foods of paradise -  fresh fruits and vegetables.  Water carries nutrients through the body but city water is loaded with toxic chemicals. The wisest purchase we made is our water filter.  Hunger pains are often caused by dehydration. Distilled water is good for cleansing, eliminating toxins and inorganic substances that are not assimilated by the body.    

After eating raw for several months I felt my strength come back.  Becky told me my life force had returned and my body wanted to live, heal, and be well.  I could  see more clearly and walk without  pain.  I had more energy and  my weight problem was  solved.  My desire for cooked food and sweets was mostly gone along with my addictions!  My body was getting stronger each day,  and  I felt  a new aliveness and vibrant energy.

                                    Cindy made a delicious RAW birthday cake.

“Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience;  for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of; a blessing that money cannot buy.”  Izaak Walton

My future is unknown but I have hope that someday the tremors will stop and my handwriting will return.  Wilf gave me another priesthood blessing and said I would go through some hard things before I’m well, but I would get well!   

CHAPTER SEVEN MY BODY IS ATTACKING ME

CHAPTER SEVEN

MY BODY IS ATTACKING ME

The stress of our boys business became increasingly heavy as they faced going without paychecks and possibly shutting down. We struggled to know whether we should support them with our retirement.  We were not only sick but confused, and weary.  Surely these are the times that men’s (and women’s) hearts fail.   After much fasting and prayer we decided to take our retirement and help the boys in their business.  It went against all worldly wisdom and sensibility, but what if the Lord gave us that money for such a time as this?  What if this was a test of faith to teach us to rely on God and not our retirement?   We’ve always been in his capable hands and he has provided for us our entire life! 

             

                                      Happy family at Flaming Gorge.                         

If our health problems were the Lord’s way of getting our attention it was working!  My body was falling apart.  My back, eyes, ears, feet, and knees were giving me trouble, I had more cysts and my right foot was shaking.  If that wasn’t enough the dentist said I needed surgery on the root of my front tooth which was still infected after two root canals and surgery in Cambodia.  After Wilf gave me a beautiful blessing I was hopeful.  He said I would have the health and strength to do all that I need to do.  I chose not to have surgery but treat the infection, and try to save my front tooth.        

Marisol said it was time to do the next phase of my cleanse, draining my lymphatic system.  When the lymph is clogged and congested the body cannot heal. We bought a T Zone vibration machine that helps with lymphatic drainage.  Karyn took me to Dr. Allen,  a kind, young Chiropractor, who uses muscle testing to know what‘s going on In the body.  I tested very high with heavy metals and pesticides - especially mercury and arsenic.  When he saw my shaking foot he suggested I go to a neurologist to see if I had Parkinson’s Dis-ease.  He started me on the long process of detoxing and rebuilding my body.  I felt the Lord leading me and I was grateful to finally get some answers.
 

                                                Happy and healthy days!

When I told Becky my body was attacking me she said,  “No Suzanne, you didn’t take care of your body, now it’s sick.”  “Can I be honest with you?” she asked.  “It’s absolutely critical that you eat mostly raw and living foods or you will be very unhappy where you’re going.”   She shared her healing protocol with me and encouraged me to start immediately.  To restore my health I needed a RAW diet with lots of fresh juices, especially fresh carrot juice which cleans the liver.  She told me it was possible for me to get well and have a healthy and younger body.   By eating a raw diet and taking supplements,  I would begin the long process to cleanse and nourish my body so it could heal. 

Eating fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and legumes in their wholesome state begins cleansing toxins throughout the body.   Toxins not only drain our energy and make us sluggish and sick,  they can interfere with spiritual growth by blocking our ability to clearly receive messages from heaven. 

To detoxify our bodies we needed to change our diet and avoid foods contaminated with hormones and pesticides, and eliminate caffeine, and carbonation.  I’ve made lots of bad choices in the past concerning my health, now I prayed that my mistakes could be undone if I turned my life around.  In 1968, President Ezra Taft Benson talked about the need for vegetables, fruits, grains:

“We need a generation of people who eat in a healthier manner, the closer these can be to their natural state – without over refinement and processing.  The less refined without additives, the healthier it will be for us.  We are an overfed and undernourished nation digging an early grave with our teeth, and lacking the energy that could be ours because we overindulge in junk foods…we need a generation of young people like Daniel, who eat in a more healthy manner than to fare on the king’s meat, whose countenances show it…”   

                                               Making healthier choices.

President Benson would be even more shocked today if he saw so many of us in our obese and unhealthy condition.  I wasn’t surprised when the neurologist said I had all the symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease, only grateful to finally learn what was wrong with me.  Parkinson’s may be a clock ticking away my life, but I was hopeful I could beat it. 

The medical profession believes that Parkinson’s disease occurs when the brain stops making an important chemical called dopamine.  This chemical helps the body move and also helps with a positive mood.  Parkinson’s has early warning signs, but is not usually diagnosed for 5 to 6 years. Early diagnosis is the best chance for a longer, healthier life, but the doctor said it appeared to be progressing fast in my body.  

The early signs of Parkinson’s are:  shaking or tremors,  twitching of limbs, small handwriting,   loss of smell, trouble sleeping,  sudden movements during sleep, trouble walking or moving, stiffness in arms or legs, stiffness or pain in shoulders or hips,  constipation, dizziness or fainting, a soft voice,  a masked face, and stooping or hunching over.

I had some of these signs for at least four years.  My tremor started a long time ago and my handwriting changed six months after our mission.    My right eyelid began drooping several years earlier, my voice changed and it was hard to speak because my mouth was out of balance.  Even though the doctor said my shaking was a Benign Essential Tremor, I felt there was something more serious, especially when my handwriting became smaller and my voice softer.  I was dizzy, lifeless and tired and it was difficult getting up and down.           

I always thought I would live a long and healthy life like my parents, now my path would be very different than theirs.  Feelings of depression washed over me as the fear of not being able to function hit me.  I hated the thought that I would be a burden on my family, in many ways it would be better if I had cancer and died.   All this was happening the same time we faced losing the business and having three families go without paychecks.  I fought feelings of despair and hopelessness.  “Dear God, please give us the strength to walk through this dark night and find the light,” we prayed.

  

                                       The Lord loves these precious families! 

Our prayers were answered and we felt strength as we kept walking forward with faith.  We started the new diet and decided to get a home equity loan for the business.   When we drove to the bank, I felt peaceful and unafraid and very grateful that we could get the money so easily.  I had faith the Lord would provide for us as he always had and correct our course if we were on the wrong path!  

We hoped to serve another mission, but the Lord had a different plan for us.  There is such a great need for senior couples.   

                                        Missionary Zone Conference in Cambodia.

When we were serving our mission a general authority told us most seniors cannot accept a call to developing countries because of health problems.  Some couples cannot serve full time missions, but there are lots of opportunities to serve. There will be many people looking for answers to health problems,  perhaps we could be witnesses for healing.  The scriptures teach:   

“And if you shall ask the Father in my name, in faith believing, you shall receive the Holy Ghost, which giveth utterance, that you may stand as a witness of the things of which you shall both hear and see…”  Doctrine & Covenants 14: 8

There was still so much for me to do!     I always thought I would be strong and healthy to welcome the Savior at his coming, now my future was a big question.  “Will he come before my health runs out?  What does he want me to do with the time I have left?”  I prayed for strength and courage, but I had no idea what a hard challenge was ahead for me!

CHAPTER SIX ANGELS AMONG US

CHAPTER SIX

ANGELS AMONG US

Missy delivered a strong and healthy baby boy by C-section.  We were grateful for a good doctor who cared about her and her safety.  I was especially grateful to be there to help her after being in Cambodia during her first birth.  

                                                Missy's new born son - Jaxton

Putting in a new yard is a big job, even for young people!  We worked hard planting roses, trees, shrubs and flowers and we hired a landscaper to put in the sprinkling system and the lawn.  Wilf did everything I couldn't do.  He was still strong, in spite of his surgery, and we made a good team!  Our missions taught us to work well together!

We were shocked and disappointed when six weeks after the surgery Wilf’s throat shut down again and our insurance canceled us because we moved to Utah County.  I felt my heart would faint with the financial burdens of our health and our business.  God was trying to get our attention and we were ready to listen!  It’s much easier taking care of your health than trying to rebuild it and it’s much easier putting weight on than taking it off!  I always hated my body;  I was too thin or too heavy, never just right.  Perhaps that’s the reason my body was causing me so much pain!  The tremors were getting worse, and I was lifeless and fell asleep every time I sat down.  This was the season to take care of our health, if it wasn’t too late!   It’s not easy to turn things around, but if we want any quality of life we must do it. 

We prayed for answers to know the path God wanted us to take.  He sends angels, seen and unseen,  when we ask him.  I was listening to the radio one day when a message of hope came through a song.  “Please don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright!” My mother always loved that song and I felt her sending me this message!  In the book “Healing with Angels” author Doreen Virtue says:

“We hear so much more about angels these days because it’s time for us to heal ourselves, our lives, and our world.  As we move through the millennial shift, the angels are helping us heal the challenges and ills that keep us from reaching our highest potential.  They are here to heal us from the effects of fear.  They are powerful healers, and we can work with them to speed up our healing.  The more we invite them into our lives, the more our lives will be like heaven.  They cannot intervene without our permission.  The angels want to help us adapt to our changing world by giving us energy and guidance that will shift our frequency.  The angels are here to help us find peace and they will help us if we ask for their help. They don’t want us to wait until we’re desperate before we ask.  We can mentally call on our guardian angels then witness the miracles that happen.” 

                                                  Angels among us.

I’ve been surrounded by angel healers for a long time and led to hidden treasures of knowledge that most people are not even aware of.   I’m blessed to know many gifted angel healers! 

Heidi worked on me again and Cindy took me to Marisol Gutteries, an iridologist trained by her father in Mexico.  She told me I needed to cleanse my lymphatic system and liver, and she gave me a strict healing protocol.  Cindy took me to a Mexican Market where we bought the things for my cleanse.  Becky encouraged me to eat more raw foods.  She told me what I suspected, that my life force was very low and my body was exhausted.   She told me to treat my body as though I had cancer before it actually showed up!  I was so tired I just wanted to leave this hard world and be with my parents, but as I diligently followed Marisol’s protocol and ate lots of fruits, I felt my strength coming back.  I was hopeful that the Lord would restore my health if I worked hard.    

When Wilf’s throat shut down the fourth time since his surgery,  the doctors put him through lots of tests and took xrays before they finally opened his esophagus.  We were so frustrated and discouraged because they had no answers for him.  The one thing everyone agreed about - his condition was caused by acid, worry and stress and he needed an alkaline diet.  When Becky said a raw liquid diet would heal his esophagus it felt right.  A raw diet would be the best thing for both of us, but it overwhelmed me even thinking about it!  The Lord was moving us both in a direction we didn’t want to go. 

Changing one’s diet is a big challenge - no more going out for fast food.  We began buying more fruits and veggies and we discovered the wonderful gift of smoothies, the ultimate fast food.  Wilf faithfully followed a liquid diet and his weight began to drop and I was diligent with my cleanse.  We were in the refiners fire, but we were not alone as angels and healers showed up to help us.  The Lord sends ordinary people to be his angels,  perhaps he moved us close to our family because of our health problems. It gives me a sense of peace knowing our angel children live near.  Sometimes He calms the storm,  but other times he lets the storms rage and calms his child.

Attending the temple helped us feel peace and calm.  Miraculously, I was able to get up and down at the altar without pain when we were witnesses!  When we sacrifice and do God’s work we’re blessed with more energy as well as time.  As we learn to access the powers of heaven our faith increases.   Faith without works is dead, as I worked hard my faith was getting stronger.  My favorite scripture says: 

“Have miracles ceased?  Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister unto the children of men.  For behold, they are subject unto him, to minister according to the word of his command, showing themselves unto them of strong faith and a firm mind in every form of godliness.”   Moroni 7:  29-30

When I call on the Savior he sends angels to bear me up, both Heavenly and mortal.   There are many angels in my life – my angel children, Becky, my healer and coach,   Karyn, an angel of light, and Wilf, my sweetheart.  He gives me Priesthood blessings, and does the hard things around the house.  He makes smoothies and fresh carrot juice and loves me, even when I’m unlovable.  How blessed I am to be surrounded by angels!   “Know my child,  my kindness shall not depart from thee,  mine angels shall encircle thee, with everlasting kindness will I succor thee!”

I believe we are very blessed to be alive at this time in history,  a time when we will recover our spiritual gifts of intuition and healing.  We’ve come here with many gifts and talents to lift and bless the lives of others.  God wants us to focus our time and energy on helping each other.   He’ll supply us with enough time, money, intelligence and anything else we need if we are willing to teach others about their true spiritual origin. 

Elder Sorn at the Missionary Training Center. 

We were very happy to take Elder Sorn to the MTC after his arrival from Cambodia.  Like his sister, Poyi, he  was called to serve a mission in the United States.  He is a wonderful missionary serving in Seattle, Washington.  He was very excited to be a missionary and teach the gospel in the U.S.  We are blessed to know this angelic young man,  one more  blessing coming from our amazing mission and the Job Foundation.   “Let brotherly love continue.  Be not forgetful to entertain strangers for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”  Hebrews 13:1-2   Angels are truly among us and some of them are our children and grandchildren!           

                                                Angel granddaughters!           

“There is a new breed of humans among us.  They are highly psychic, strong-willed, imaginative, and they are here to usher in the new era of peace.  They have little tolerance for dishonesty, meaningless tasks or pointless discussions.  They elected to come to earth at this time to teach about the importance of speaking truth and living in harmony.  The new energy calls for us to live in complete integrity and let go of things that aren’t honoring our true self.  If we don’t let go of them we feel more and more pain.  We have to let go of the old stuff to move forward.  Many of these new “indigo children” have higher life expectancies than previous generations.  They will grow up in the new energy following the millennial shift and will live to extremely old ages.  Many conditions that are detrimental to health such as poor diet, stress and breathing toxic pollutents  won’t be a factor.  It will be a fresh clean world with more nutritious foods.”  “Healing With the Angels”  by Doreen Virtue

                                   The Angel children are here.

I believe we each have a divine life purpose,  an assignment we agreed to fulfill during our lifetime.  Sometimes, in the middle of a crisis, we forget to ask for spiritual help until we realize that our human efforts are ineffective.  I have much to learn.   “Be strong and of a good courage and be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed.  I will be with thee, I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”  Joshua 1:9

I am a strong woman, with the strength of my pioneer ancestors.  I believe they help us when we ask for their help.  I’m uniquely prepared to face these health trials with all the tools and things I’ve learned about healing, nutrition, herbs and essential oils.  I know God leads me to the healers and doctors who can help me and I’m learning to call on my angels for help. I’m peaceful and calm about my future.  A Course in Miracles says, “If you knew who walked beside you at all times, you could never experience fear again.”  Miracles still happen and angels still minister to those who believe!