CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
HOW
CAN I DO THIS HARD THING?
The summer before our mission to Cambodia we had a family reunion at
Flaming Gorge. We rented rafts and floated down the Green River below the dam. I was afraid of falling in the river because a woman drowned that summer when
she fell out of her raft. I chose the
raft with Becca, my pregnant daughter in law, thinking it would be the
safest. Half way down the river we came
upon some small rapids. My side of the
raft went down into the white rolling rapids and I tumbled out into the cold
river. I was sucked under the raft, with
my children and grandchildren watching in horror. As I floated along the river bottom, I could
see the raft up above me. I was sure I
was too heavy to get back in the raft and would most likely drown.
Rafting on the Green River.
I stayed calm and
peaceful, but resigned to the fact that no one could rescue me. When I surfaced my son, Joseph, was leaning
over the boat, telling me to take his hand.
I told him, “I’m too heavy, just save the oar” and I retrieved the
oar. He said, “Mom, take my hand.” but I said, “I’m too
heavy” believing it impossible for him to pull me up into the raft. He became very frustrated and demanded that I take his hand, so I reached up and he took my hand and easily
lifted me up into the raft.
That night I knelt in prayer and thanked the Lord for my
beloved son, who rescued me. The spirit whispered,
“MY BELOVED SON will always rescue you, whenever
you’re in the deep water, if you will only reach up and take His hand.” How
often have I refused to reach up and take the Savior's hand because I didn’t believe He could rescue me? In Cambodia I
was in the deepest waters I’d ever been in and He rescued me as I reached up and took His hand He lifted me up out of the deep water and carried me through all my sorrows and trials.
Now we are in the deep water with our business,
and our health issues. These challenges
seem even harder but we can give them to the Savior and let Him rescue us! Parkinson’s is my hardest challenge, even more than our mission to Cambodia! I
thought I was done with the purifying fire but the rest of my weaknesses are now being burned out of me. I must be a
“hard case,” slow to learn and change my ways. We will be tested in all things, until we
change and stand in the middle of the fire and not be burned! President Hinckley said:
“At sometime everybody will be backed
up to the wall of faith, there will be clouds and there will be difficult
times, but the sun will come out.”
The journey to the top is worth it!
How can I do this hard thing? How can I endure to the end? Everything will be alright in the end, it’s just not the end
yet. I still have mountains to climb and things to learn. I still have fears to give to
the Savior. Why can't I eliminate ALL the ANTS in my life - the “AUTOMATIC
NEGATIVE THOUGHTS” and the “ADVERSARY’S NEGATIVE TACTICS.”? If I want to become what He wants me to be I must confront every ANT and ask if it's truth. "Is this thought 100% true? How can I turn it around?" Replacing the lie with truth is
the essence of healing all things. All of our fears are based on lies and the truth will set us free! When we see the truth we come out of
darkness into the light.
“If you cannot understand it will be because
ye ask not, neither do you knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light,
but must perish in the dark.” 2 Nephi
32:4
When we ask God to bring us into the light of truth we are not deceived and do not perish in the darkness. When we bring our darkness to the light – bring our fears and doubts to God - he will heal the darkness in us.
“The light shineth in darkness, and
the darkness comprehendeth it not; nevertheless, the day shall come when you
shall comprehend even God, being quickened in him and by him….. And if your eye
be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there
shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light
comprehendeth all things.” Doctrine
& Covenants 88: 49, 67
When we experience lack, limitation, or pain of any kind, it
means that somewhere within us, we are choosing thoughts of fear. With practice, we can become aware of our
negative and fearful thoughts in each moment.
Every fearful thought has an effect. We have the power to think ourselves into
unhappiness and depression, but we can also think ourselves into happiness!
Our thoughts influence everything that comes
to us each day. It’s important to set
our intentions first thing in the morning and decide what we want this day, then ask God for the spiritual and physical strength to make it
through that day.
“With positive thinking, you will be
well, you will prosper, and your prayers will be answered. Become the master of your thoughts, stop
thinking about how tough life is, stop thinking about the future and the past,
think of God’s’ riches and love, and express these thoughts daily. You will become what you think.” Albert E. Cliffe
I can feel good now by focusing my thoughts on what I want,
not on what I don’t want. I create exactly what I think about and believe. My thoughts make all the difference. Mastery of my words and thoughts is essential for my healing.
If I can CONCEIVE it; I can BELIEVE
it. If I can BELIEVE it; I can ASK
for it. If I can ASK for it, I can RECEIVE it!
I want to release all thoughts and behaviors that
create the illusion of illness and pain.
I am willing to release all fears that keep me from remembering my
life’s purpose. I am qualified to
fulfill my mission. I will receive
continued guidance to help me know the difference between joy and fear. I will immerse myself in meaningful
activities that serve others and bring me joy.
I release any habits of self-punishments, time urgency or other belief
systems that create stress. I have
sufficient time and energy to do the work I came to do. I feel peace, gratitude, and financial
security. I am open to God’s guidance
which leads me to everything I need to finish my life’s mission. My heart overflows with gratitude and joy because
of the abundant universe.
My daughter in law, Lori, gave me a plaque that says, “I can
do hard things.” I read it every day,
but something was missing. I found a
small picture of the Savior that fits perfectly in the picture, now it is
complete. The Savior can do hard things,
and I can do hard things with His help.
My daily reminder!
“As much as ye shall put your trust
in God even so much ye He shall be delivered out of your trials, and your
troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last
day.” Alma 38: 5
It is our Savior who rescues us and carries us when we cannot
walk on our own. I am trusting Him to rescue me from this deep
water. With His help I survived living
in Cambodia and losing my dear parents, surely I can do this. In the strength of the Lord, I can do hard
things!
Teaching the gospel in Cambodia
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