CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR NEARER, MY GOD TO THEE

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR 

NEARER, MY GOD TO THEE

We drove our granddaughter, Katie, and her little son back to their home in Laramie, Wyoming.   It was a sweet blessing to be with them before she and Brad moved to Alaska for the summer.  We enjoyed the ride across the state of Wyoming and our short visit to Katie’s world.  Brad and Katie drove us around Laramie and showed us the campus where he attends college.  It was comforting to see how happy and excited they are about life! Katie is a wonderful,  happy mother and wife! 

                                          Katie and Brad and their little son.

On the way home we visited Martin’s Cove and Independence Rock on the Mormon trail.    It was a touching experience to be there and feel the spirit of those valiant pioneers, and see the names of the Provost family.  My great grandfather, David W. Provost, was six years old when his family crossed the plains in the Hodgett Company following the Martin Handcart company.  They suffered many hardships with the handcart company and were finally rescued.    All the way home, over every long stretch of highway, I pondered their journey to the Salt Lake Valley and marveled at their strength and their sacrifice.  We followed the last leg of their journey over Little Mountain down into the valley.

                                        Following in pioneer footsteps!

Their courage and strength is beyond my comprehension!  I’m grateful I didn’t have to make that journey over rugged mountains and across the many miles of those never ending plains.  Where did the pioneers find the faith and strength to keep going?  One man wrote in his journal that angels were with them and pushed the carts when their strength was gone.  He said it was all worth it because in their extremities they became acquainted with God.    In our extremities we can also become acquainted with God. 

                             Devils Gate,  pioneer crossing in Wyoming.

My journey is easy compared to theirs, but there are similarities in all journeys.  There are mountains to cross and rivers of tears to cross over;  the road goes on and on and requires faith in every footstep!   When my journey is too hard  I call upon the Savior to rescue me and give me strength to keep walking.  Sometimes, in my despair,   I feel that He isn’t there and I cry,  “Oh Lord where art thou, where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?”  Elder Eyring said,

“The pavilion that seems to intercept divine aid does not cover God but occasionally covers us.  God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are, covered by a pavilion of motivations that draw us away from God and make him seem distant and inaccessible.  Our own desires, rather than a feeling of thy will be done, create the feeling of a pavilion blocking God.  We may be unwilling to listen or submit to his will and his time.  Our feelings of separation will diminish as we become more childlike before him.  Jesus Christ lives, knows us, watches over us, and cares for us.  In moments of pain, loneliness, or confusion, we do not need to see Jesus Christ to know that he is aware of our circumstances.  We remove the pavilion when we feel and pray, “Thy will be done and in thine own time.”

Submitting fully to his will is essential to removing the spiritual pavilion that keeps me from him.   God’s time is not my time, but I am sure that He keeps His promises.  What is the price I must pay to know God and uncover His hiding place?  I will find Him in my extremities, when the road is too hard and my strength is gone.   If this journey brings me nearer to God then it will be worth it.

My daughter, Shelly and our cousin, Marina, and her boys came from California to search our common ancestors and their beginnings in Heber City.  Our great great grandparents, William and Sarah Giles, joined the church in England and along with their family, they crossed the ocean and the plains and settled in Ft. Heber with other pioneers.  They worked hard building a thriving community and beautiful city in the Heber Valley.  We were very excited when we found their graves, their homes and even some of the original Ft. Heber.  We rejoiced in our remarkable heritage and legacy of courage, strength and hard work these amazing ancestors left us.  With God’s help they accomplished miraculous things.  With God all things are possible!

                 Visiting  William Giles grave in Heber cemetery.

In two separate Priesthood blessings I was told to rely on the Savior.    Karyn told me that He is the answer to my healing.  She said:     

“The Savior is the divine physician over all aspects of the human being, physical, mental, emotional, vibrational, spiritual, energetic, cellular, molecular, skeletal, nervous and all frequencies related to the proper and perfect functioning of your mortal body and spiritual existence.  You take all orders and prescriptions from Him, eliminating all guesswork.  He has a piece of paper folded in his Hand with your perfect prescription written on it.  He alone, with God your eternal father knows exactly who has been delegated the stewardship of knowledge and invention to bring you comfort, relief and ease from your sufferings,  not any mortal physician.”

“You are a woman of great courage and faith.  You have a divine appointment scheduled before your birth to reunite with your eternal Father and Mother.  Your days will not be numbered less because of your diligence in preserving not only the quantity of years but the quality of existence.  The Lord knows your heart and your desire to serve him unhindered by any mortal weakness of body, mind, heart or spirit.  He alone diagnoses those who come unto Him.  He alone knows that perfect prescription.  You are not a guinea pig.  You have the ultimate source of truth available to you.  Your heart shall be made light.  Light will fill your being.  Light shall fill your cells, and your soul.  Be at peace, now.  Do not worry.  He or she who has gifts to offer you  will be blessed with the specific detail of your condition, so go to a Godly source who can be inspired for you and your specific needs.  This recipe of love, light and truth is divinely inspired for you.”     Karyn Grant

I was given this counsel as I faced my worst fear  - that I will lose the function of my body and not be able to do the things I’ve always done.  Like Martha, I’ve always been  about DOING many things.  I don’t know how to BE, like Mary.  But it’s in the very doing that I lose touch with God and become self sufficient.  I’m so busy DOING many good things there is no time left to choose the better part.  If I let go of the need to do things, this may be the sweetest part of my journey.  I may not be DOING as much but I am BEING  more and  becoming more.  Perhaps Mary had an illness and couldn’t DO as much as Martha and found her place BEING at the Savior’s  feet.   Jesus said:

“Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”  Dooctrine & Covenants  88: 63

New doors are opening for me.  I was introduced to a doctor who is having success with Vibrational medicine and he sees miracles every day in his cancer clinic in Nebraska. I found a wonderful doctor at the Utah Valley Health Clinic in Provo who helps people with stage four cancer. After his  ozone therapy I felt better than I had for years.  He suggested I follow through with the stem cell therapy.  I'm doing everything I can to get ready for Dr. Steenblock's stem cell therapy in California.  There are many “pieces to this puzzle” and the Lord is directing me to each piece.  Dr. Steenblock says the body must first be cleansed to get the best results, so I’m cleansing heavy metals, yeast and parasites to prepare for his treatments.   Cleansing the body of toxins is like cleansing the inner vessel of old thought patterns. It isn’t easy; old rubbisih can be hard to get rid of.  The sins of the fathers may be “visited upon the children” but they do not need to stay.  Healing is possible!

                                    My granddaughter, Haley, teaches me! 

It’s not too late for me to find the happy, fun loving and carefree part of myself.  Transformation isn’t easy, even the butterfly breaking out of the cocoon struggles into its beauty.  Life is a stretching and opening process. “What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly”  Lao Tzu   Now I understand why I love butterflies!

A reminder from my friend!

This can be the best and freest time of my life, if I'll choose to find joy and enjoy what’s left of my life.  Inside me there is a joyful happy woman wanting to be free. I am a truth seeker.  I am a  woman of light.   As I celebrate my aliveness and follow the Savior I become Mary instead of the Martha I’ve always been.  I will rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ to help me make this transformation, and endure my trials, sicknesses and pain.  All that is unfair about life will be made right through his Atonement. 

MY SHEPHERD WILL SUPPLY MY NEED   by Isaac Watts from Psalm 23

My shepherd will supply my need, Jehovah is His Name;  In pastures fresh, He makes me feed,  Beside the living stream.  He brings my wandering spirit back,  When I forsake His ways, And leads me for His mercy’s sake, In paths of truth and grace.  When I walk through the shades of death, Thy presence is my stay;  One word of thy supporting breath,  Drives all my fears away.  Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,  Doth still my table spread;  My cup with blessings overflows,  Thine oil anoints my head.  The sure provisions of my God,  Attend me all my days;  O may thy house be mine abode,  And all my work be praise!  There would I find a settled rest,  While others go and come,  No more a stranger, nor a guest,  But like a child at home.

It takes faith and courage to come nearer to God and walk with him, but I come from people with great faith and courage.  Karyn reminded me that Heavenly BEINGS are there to help me, not Heavenly DOINGS. She says my deceased Grandma Hattie is with me and understands what I’m going through, along with other ancestors and angels on both sides of the veil who want to help me on my journey.   We must come nearer to God to become acquainted with Him!   

The journey can be long and hard!.