CHAPTER SEVENTEEN BURDENS AND BLESSINGS

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

BURDENS AND BLESSINGS

In Cambodia I learned that the sweetest blessings come after trials and tribulations. Our burdens are really blessings in disguise!  Elder Terence M. Vinson of the Seventy said, "As I look back at my trials, it is clear that they have resulted in my growth, understanding and empathy.  They have drawn me closer to my Heavenly Father and His Son with experiences and refining engraved into my heart.  Rather than solve our problems Himself, the Lord wants us to develop the faith that will help us rely upon Him in solving our problems and trust Him.  Then we can feel his love more constantly, more powerfully, more clearly and more personally."    

The decision to let the dentist pull my front tooth was a burden for a long time. I continually prayed for a miracle that it would heal, but finally faced the fact that it had to come out.  It was a burden in Cambodia even after several dentists operated on it.  After all these years it was still infected and now fractured in three places.  The beautiful veneer crown was like a whited sepulcher with poison inside, compromising the rest of my health. When I stopped resisting and finally let go I was blessed with courage and strength to have it pulled, along with my last offending back molar with a mercury filling.  It was a miracle, both teeth came out so easily, no stitches, no hard pulling, and no more mercury in my mouth, a most tender mercy!  Even though I looked awful with my front tooth missing,  my body felt happy and grateful to be free of the infection.

The dentist made a partial plate that looked just like my missing tooth until I could have an implant.  A missing front tooth is not a pretty sight and strips away more layers of pride.  In Cambodia, many beautiful sisters are missing their front teeth, now I understand how they feel.  I'm very blessed to live in this country where I can have implant surgery! 

After all the dental surgery the Parkinson’s symptoms were worse.  Dr. Allen said the surgery released mercury and chemicals into my system causing an increase in the tremors.  Parkinson's is an awful dis-ease!  My every move gets slower and harder as it advances in my body. I depend on others to do things I can no longer do, even walking is difficult and writing is almost impossible.   I can see a time when I won't be able to do the things I love to do.    When I watch people older than me function so easily, I feel robbed of those twenty or more years that I would have had. I see the sadness in the eyes of my husband and children, when they look at me.   My children are losing the mother I used to be, and my grandchildren will never know the strong woman I was. I pray for strength to endure to the end and not be a burden on my family. 

The scriptures tell us, “Cast your burdens upon him,   for he careth for you!”  1 Peter 5:7  Karyn told me to write my burdens on slips of paper, put them in a basket and give it to the Savior when I knelt in prayer.  After I symbolically gave my burdens to the Savior I felt much lighter and more mindful of my many blessings. Gratitude brings me back into the light.     

"The Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea He trieth their patience and their faith. Nevertheless---whosoever putteth his trust in Him the same shall be lifted up." (Mosiah 23:21-22)

“And I will ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions. It came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.”   Mosiah 24: 14-15

 

After several months I had  a beautiful new implant, one of my many blessings. My handicap parking permit is also a blessing and a tender mercy.  My raw diet has become a blessing, bringing health and vitality back to my body.  We are so blessed to have an abundance of beautiful colorful foods that help my body feel alive again, plus making smoothies and fresh juices is easier than planning and preparing meals.  Green smoothie powders are my new fast food!  There are lots of fast food smoothie shops where I can buy a shot of wheat grass juice! My diet is a sweet blessing helping me keep my weight down where it should be. Now my taste buds desire real food and the smell of cooked food is offensive to me.  My burdens have been made light.     

                              My favorite, fresh coconut juice in Cambodia. 

We’re so blessed every day that Wilf can swallow and we don’t have to go to the hospital.  Smoothies are perfect for him.  He has become “my right hand man” as I lose strength on my right side. He massages my  hand, makes fresh juices, writes the bills, cuts the veggies, and vacuums the house. He is my perfect companion.  Years ago I wondered what the Lord was thinking putting us together, now I believe that our marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me.  I used to watch my children struggle in marriage and I wondered if they married the “right“ person, now I see the big picture and I truly believe the Lord sends the right companion for all of us.  It’s fun to watch our grandchildren find their perfect companion who will help them learn the lessons they need to learn.

                          My children's spouses pull hard in our family. 

 

Micheal J. Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson’s at age 29, with a wife and young child.  His wife is the perfect companion for him.  In spite of his burdens he remains positive and devotes his life to his family and his foundation for Parkinson’s research. He is a great example for me  and helps me see how blessed I am to have  68 years of good health before Parkinson’s.

      

“Parkinson’s has made me a better person, a better husband, father and overall human being.  Life delivered me a catastrophe, but I found a richness of soul.  I owe it to Parkinson’s.  No doubt about that.” 
                                                                                                      Micheal J. Fox

My life has been a sweet dream with blessings too numerous to count.  My family gave me a wonderful surprise raw food birthday party. Everyone was generous,  loving and kind to me, bringing raw food and gifts.  Clarissa and John made a wonderful video of my life, perfect to play at my funeral!  The video was a testimony of my abundant life,  it was obvious in every picture  how blessed my life has been.   My cup truly runneth over!!! 
 

              Our amazing children and their perfect companions.   

I see in some of my children the same perfection standard I’ve had, a legacy from their perfectionist control-freak mother!  I hope they will let go of that burden as they see me let go.  They are amazing and so beautiful, so talented, and so good.  They are naturally all the things I was trying to be!  I was never any of those things without the Savior – just a wanna be -  a poser, but  my children are the real gold! 

                                            My children -  the real gold.

              

How blessed I am to have the  Priesthood in our home and a husband who gives me amazing blessings when I need them.  Wilf gave me another beautiful blessing.  He told me that the Lord wants me to know who I am, the person I truly am and that I came here with a huge mission.  He said great things are coming very shortly and there will be much joy and rejoicing ahead.  He was very joyful as he gave me this blessing. 

Lynn Hardin, author of “The Magic of Why” speaks about her near death experience.  She was sent back to earth to teach “THE CORE COVENANTS”  of the Universe that created the world we live in.   The world has believed and lived  THE FEAR MODEL  – FEAR,  GUILT,  DOUBT,  SHAME, and  ANGER. This model created scarcity, hate, competition, and unbelief, so the universe could not give abundance. It was adopted by the human race generations ago, bringing scarcity, poverty, wars and hate to the planet. 

Now is the time to live  THE LOVE MODEL – LOVE,  TRUST,  SHARE,  CARE, and  ALLOW.   This is the model for the new world!  When we surround ourselves with love,  the highest frequency, and hold that vibration in our space we’ll feel love, harmony,  and transformation – a heavenly high and an armor of light.  When the fear model slips back in and the adversary chips away at our armor,  we can cast him out and pray to come off conqueror! 

The earth is a beautiful and abundant planet.  The Universe is abundant -  it gives and gives to those who live the love model. It’s the way we think about things; whatever we think about is  held in our cells.  We are the Creator of our world; we don’t change the Universe, we change ourselves so we can receive the gifts Heavenly Father wants to give us.  

  

I feel a shift has occurred in my life.  I feel alive, strong and hopeful that I am healing.  I am more relaxed about getting things done and letting go of stress about time.  I believe in abundance, that God will provide all of my needs and tell me what to do.  I’m feeling more love for myself and others and more freedom to do what I want.  Perhaps I’m finding the richness of soul that Micheal J. Fox talks about.  

I can be a part of the GREAT day of the Lord by celebrating the wonders of these exciting times,counting my blessings and  looking for the good that is all around me.  By going to the Lord and asking for his daily instruction I  can meet the challenges  I’ve been given.   I’m reminded of Elder Scott’s statement that God won’t ask us to suffer one minute longer than is good for our learning.  I have a choice – to COMPLAIN or COME CLAIM the blessings  for my hardest task.  I choose to claim the blessings He has for me!   

                                       Glorious latter-day blessings!

As I look for God's hand in my life each day, I see his blessings and tender mercies and feel his love.  He will bear my every burden, if I let Him. My testimony of the Savior is my greatest blessing and burns brightly in my soul.  It is the richness of my soul and the beat of my heart!