CHAPTER
TWENTY
POSSIBILITIES
My session at Karyn’s revealed things that may be hindering
the healing I’m working so hard to achieve.
She said my brain is confused when I send it mixed messages; wanting to die,
but still working hard to get well. No wonder my brain is confused! My brain needs to hear from my own lips what
I choose. She said I still have a
mission to finish, but I can shorten my time by wishing to leave. I feel confused about what to choose - I want
to live, if I can have my body back the way it used to be, but do I want to
live in this condition? It’s easy to
feel hopeless when I see what Parkinson’s is doing to my body. My future looks bleak and I want to go home!
In his book “Wishes Fulfilled” Dr. Wayne Dyer says:
“The subconscious mind accepts as
true what you feel is true. Your
feelings determine your reality because they’re impressed on the subconscious. Consciously feeling hopeless, and
entertaining this idea in your imagination, with even more imaginative feelings
of hopelessness, will impress on the subconscious mind the idea of
failure. If you put the seed of failure
into the subconscious and feed it with feeling that way, it will reproduce
failure. If you plant the seed of
disease into your subconscious mind by feeling this way in your body, it will
augment disease for you. This is why it
is so all-out crucial to begin feeling in your body what you would like to
manifest into your life. You can get to
the point where the magnetic–like power in your own field of energy is so
joyfully loving that you can have a mere flash of imagining and feeling
something powerful and good, and with almost no
passage of time it will appear in your life! Whatever you wish to manifest, associate a
feeling of love with it and impress that feeling on the subconscious mind and
it will do the rest. Think thoughts
like, I am well, I am strong, I am prosperous, and I am employed; place them into your imagination, and then
assume the feeling of that wish fulfilled.
If you can experience the feeling of love, joy, exhilaration, peace, and
happiness in your body - even when your sensations are contradictory – your subconscious
records the feelings. The subconscious
is the womb of creation.”
I’ve been focusing on what I don’t want instead of what I
want, thereby creating what I don’t want in my life! This is a very powerful awakening! Is it possible that I am creating what I
fear? Whenever my thoughts stray to the
negative, I can delete them and think about having vibrant health. I can feel good right now if I put a smile on
my face, walk with a bounce in my step, hum or sing a song, think happy thoughts, and express love and
affection.
When you know something in your head doesn’t mean you really
know it. The longest journey is from the
head to the heart. Once you have it in
your heart then you really know it, you
own it and you’ve made it yours.
I believe I can improve in energy, vigor and strength even with
Parkinson’s. Can I also program my heart
as well as my mind to believe that? Jesus said, “All things are possible to him
that believeth.”
I can tell my brain, “Today I choose to live, and I choose to get well” and imagine what it feels like to be well, then trust that God will make everything work out for my best good. When I wake up each morning I will choose life and health, then walk through the day with faith!
If I let go of my fears and all the jobs that must be done, I
could fly to faraway places in my
imagination. I must also let go of the belief that there’s
never enough time or money, and all the things I should be doing. I’m so like Martha – careful and troubled about
many things. I’ve put so many limitations
on myself! All my life I could play only after my work
was done, but my work was never done! It’s
time to see life through Mary’s eyes and choose the better part – the world
beyond my self-imposed limitations and illusions.
Seeing life through the eyes of my grandchildren.
Can I enjoy my celestial wings and fly in the realms of my full
potential? In my quiet place, I can
listen to my dreams, and imagine what is possible. If I could l would be well again and fly free
with the birds over fields and trees. I would
fly to faraway places over seashores and mountains and visit my beloved friends in Cambodia. Once I had experienced a world without fears
and limitations, I would know that all my dreams are possible and I would never
be the same. I couldn’t go back to my
old world having now expanded my views into new possibilities.
Parkinson’s is teaching me to see things differently. It’s okay to be comfortable doing nothing and
enjoy those quiet moments resting and relaxing. God is giving me time to pause and rest –
there will always be more to do! This
past year I’ve had many adventures, even with Parkinson’s. I did more hiking than any other time in my
life; we hiked in Zion’s Park with Ron and his
family, to Ensign Peak with Cindy and
her little girls, and to Cecret Lake in Albion Basin. We bought walking sticks to help me balance
and stop the tremors in my hand. My raw
diet has given me more energy to hike in the beautiful mountains and work
outside in my gardens.
Hiking in Zion's with Ron's family.
In the fall, we traveled with our family on a business trip
to see a factory in upstate New York. I
took my blender, raw food, cooler, supplements and Asea water. I didn’t think it would be worth all that
packing, but I was wrong. It was an
awesome trip with my family and so worth it!
I felt great, I stayed mostly raw and I kept up with their
activities. We shared special forever
moments in the Sacred Grove and Palmyra.
I loved walking the path around the beautiful resort and going to the
spa with the girls, while the men were in their meetings. The tremors were minimal and I felt
great. My heart was happy and grateful
to be alive and be with my family.
Wilf and I visit the Sacred Grove.
We had a wonderful deer hunt camp, the best one we ever
had. The weather was perfect and there
was a good spirit in camp. It’s
wonderful seeing the love in the Stagg family, probably coming from the family
reunions we had years ago, plus the sweet new babies in camp. The young married couples are strong and good. I had amazing energy, and Paulette and I
walked together for a couple of miles. It’s
been a year of wonderful experiences in spite of Parkinson’s.
Stagg family Deer hunt.
We also traveled to Lava Hot Springs, Flaming Gorge, Arizona,
and California for our granddaughter, Brittany’s wedding in the Newport Beach
temple. We also traveled to Washington
DC. to attend Sopheak and Gabriel’s wedding in the temple. After their beautiful wedding they were
sealed to Gabriel’s young son. In Cambodia,
Sopheak was like a daughter to us. She was
fresh from Cambodia and glowing with excitement for her new life in America.
There is enough time to do the things that are really important.
Time and space are not the way I have
perceived them. The obstacles to all my
desires are really only energy…not brick walls, and those energies can be transformed. All my limitations are in
reality…transformable energy. There are unexplored realms of perception all
around us, it is said that we rarely use
more than 10% of our mental capabilities,
doing the same things and getting the same results. What if it’s possible to access the 90% of
our unused mind? What would happen if I
aged in reverse every day? It’s possible
that I’ve found a way to turn back the clock by eating foods that regenerate
and heal the body and doing things that
bring vibrant health.
I want to be open to all possibilities, and willing to listen
rather than do all the talking. I always
wanted to be in control, but control is only an illusion. Parkinson’s appears to have total control
over my body. The evidence appears very real
to me, but if I stay open to all possibilities I allow for opportunities beyond
my wildest dreams. Dr. Wayne Dyer said:
“We can have a positive vision quest
– so powerful, so transforming to all we encounter! Just keep working at your vision – the
picture inside your head of how you want things to be. This is creative visualization – if you can
visualize and create it in your mind, then you can create it in your
reality. If you are looking for divine
guidance you will receive it. Watch for
it, it will come if you desire it. Ask
and you shall receive! All good things come from God. If we need healing we must first go to God,
the source of all healing, then watch for the tools he sends to help us in our
healing. Nothing happens by chance,
everything has meaning, so pay attention to what is showing up every day.”
My “divine appointment” in the early morning is my time to sit quietly and visualize what I want in my life, and tap in positive affirmations: “I am strong! I am healthy! I am God’s instrument of love! He supplies all my needs! There is enough and to spare! I have enough time! I have enough love! I have enough money! I am a believer! I forgive myself and others. I let go of old resentments and hurt feelings. I am filled with the Spirit of the Lord.”
In his book “The Power of Intention” Dr. Dyer shares ways to
stay in the higher vibrations of healing:
1.“Become aware of your home environment – paintings, crystals, books, colors and arrangement of furniture create energy. Stay in high energy surroundings.
2. Reduce
the exposure to the low energy of television.
Every photograph contains energy so arrange beautiful, happy pictures
around you.
3. Become
aware of the energy levels of your friends and family. Stay in the energy field of high energy
people and your low energies will raise to higher energies.
4. Be aware of your feelings and activities and
where they take place. Immerse yourself
in nature, service, and spiritual places.
Get or receive a massage. Extend
acts of kindness, asking nothing in
return.
5. Be specific about your desires and intentions,
write them down, “I intend to heal myself”
Written affirmations have an energy of their own. Read them daily.
Whatever trial I’m going through I’m not alone. We must lift and strengthen each other in the
great and important days ahead. Whatever
the difficulties confronting us, and impossibilities
surrounding us, we can have faith in the Son of God, who said, “Be not afraid,
only believe.” The Prophet Moroni said:
“Behold I say unto you that whoso
believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in
the name of Christ it shall be granted
him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth.” Mormon 9: 21
Do not doubt but believing!
Believing is beyond faith! There
are two classes of people in the world: believers and non believers. To the non
believers everything is false until proven true; to the believers everything said in good
faith is true unless proven otherwise. Skepticism comes from fear, but I've
always been a believer!
Henry Ford said, “Whether you
think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you are right.” It’s not what you look at, it’s what you see.
I see miracles and possibilities, and I
choose to find joy in life in spite of Parkinson’s!
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