CHAPTER
NINETEEN
PROMISES
When we attended the baptism of our sweet granddaughter, Serenity,
I was especially touched by the spirit that day. I paid particular attention to the promises we
make when we are baptized and I pondered the word promise.
Serenity's baptism day!
The spirit whispered to me that I made
promises before I came to earth. Did
those promises include Parkinson’s? Did I
promise to be an example and a witness even with Parkinson's dis-ease? Perhaps I promised that
I would teach others about the Savior and his gospel, and about the wonderful
healing plants Heavenly Father created for us.
Perhaps I agreed to experience Parkinson’s and be an example of what
happens when you don’t love and take care of your body.
When we left our heavenly home perhaps we were given counsel such as this: “You are called to go to
the earth. It will not be an easy task
that I am requiring of you. You will go
through experiences that will refine you, polish you and perfect you. You will have moments when you will want to
stop the process, get off the earth and come home…but I urge you to carry
on! I urge you to discover your
gift….the blessings in disguise….and to fashion and form a message from each
one of your life’s experiences. The
hardest of your experiences, will sometimes bring the greatest messages. There are others who need you to go and build
bridges….and others who will need you to warn them of the cliffs where you walked. Go now….be the
gift…be the angel to someone else who may be waiting for
your message…without even knowing that it is the perfect gift for their life’s mission. Go, my child….be the
Gift! Live your message! Bear witness by your life, of the gift of the
Living Christ.” I believe we knew the trials
we would experience here on earth. Elder
Neil Anderson said:
”These fiery trials are designed to
make you stronger, but they have the potential to diminish or even destroy your
trust in the Son of God and weaken your resolve to keep your promises. We need to trust in our Savior and believe
that He will help us keep our promises. Don’t be surprised when they happen to
you. Like the intense fire that transforms iron into steel, as we remain
faithful during the fiery trial of our faith, we are spiritually refined and
strengthened.”
My cousin, Linda Rae Farmer Duffin, courageously endured a 14
year battle with breast cancer. She recently
passed away after it metastasized to her liver.
She had multiple surgeries, radiation treatment, and 7 series of
chemotherapy treatments. She learned to
give her future to the Lord, trusting in him to decide her time in this life,
and she looked forward to the time that He would take her home. At the
same times she lived her life with a driving passion to make the most of each
day. She said:
“I believe from experience, that all
things are in God’s hands, and we will come to a point where we must put our
trust and love in him, if we are to successfully finish our journey here on
earth. Life is a huge blessing; while it
entails struggles, suffering and pain for us and our loved ones, its blessings are worth treasuring as long as
life is given to us.”
Sometimes I envy her, she fought a good fight and now she is
free from her battles. She left a
marvelous legacy of faith and courage.
She is a great example to me! The
blessings of this life are worth treasuring as long as life is given to us! I’m awed by the Lord’s abundant gifts to us. He is pouring down blessings on our family
business. It’s a miracle they are paying
their expenses and making payments on the money we gave them, making it possible for us to pay
for all our doctors and supplements. God
is truly making our burdens light!
God gives us gifts to bless the lives of others. I believe if you have a desire for something
you probably have a gift in that area. My
gifts are a believing spirit, and a love for all of God’s children, and his beautiful
healing plants and herbs. With these
gifts I can lead others to see their gifts and blessings. God sends his light workers to shine their beautiful light and share his
perfect love with everyone. If you have
a desire then you are called to the work.
I have a desire to do his work; I
cannot use Parkinson’s and the tremors
as an excuse to hide my light and my gifts under a blanket. I came
to earth to be a light worker. I’ve
always known this, and the adversary also knows this. He’s tried to take away my voice and my
confidence, but even with Parkinson’s I still have light to shine. He tries to stop us from shining our light and
keeping our promises.
Keeping promises in Cambodia!
Some days I feel like my diet is too little too late, in these
dark moments I feel I have no purpose, so I pray for strength to accept my
path, let go and let others help me. I can
no longer base my life on getting things done the way I used to. I can be happy and positive, in spite of my
losses and my weakening shaking body. I cannot justify hiding and shrinking because
of the tremors, which are directly connected to emotions and behaviors from my
DNA. I believe I promised to overcome and
heal that DNA, and find the peaceful personality that is really me! I'm grateful for many wise friends who help me see truth. My friend, Sharon, told me:
“Just think, if your weren't still
having tremors you wouldn't push so hard to get well, think of all the other areas of your body that
are healing, and if you’re positive and
happy that is a good thing. Sometimes it’s
difficult to be patient with the rate we heal, and it’s easy to think we’re not
progressing. Who knows how many others problems you would have if you hadn't
focused so much on healing Parkinson's. It’s
important to be content wherever we are in life and be happy with what is.
There’s learning in your struggle and in the journey. You are fulfilling your purpose, even if you feel
life has passed you by. You are in your perfection doing what you need
to do. Gods ways are not our ways, aging is part of the plan and all that goes
with it. Perhaps you were involved with
a Parkinson’s class on the other side
and you agreed to have this experience - to let others be of service to
you in this physical earth realm,
learn how it is to receive, to
learn about loving your body as it is, and being grateful for each tremor and
weakness. These are ways the spirit learns.
Life lessons are not easy, but it’s our thoughts that betray our
happiness. Remember, others are watching how well and gracefully you handle
your afflictions. God has given you great teaching moments.”
Her words are true, I’ve already had many teaching
moments and I’ve felt the spirit speaking through me. I’ve learned many lessons and I more fully
understand God’s purposes and gifts for me.
In order for us to fully receive
the atonement, we all must feel a certain volume of pain. The Lord turns up the volume as we go. We agreed to experience the pain – “I will go
– send me.” The Savior knows the full
magnitude of our soul’s purpose. When we
overcome our fears and go forward with faith and courage, to fulfill that
purpose, we start a new path for the generations that follow us. Take whatever your talent is and magnify
it – ask the Lord to help you know what your gift is and how to magnify
it. Ask what your soul’s purpose is. We receive not because we ask not. Gifts of the spirit are not for the one who
has them as much as they are for serving others, but sometimes they are a
burden!
Perhaps learning to live with Parkinson’s is my soul’s purpose! When I
listen to my heart I know I’m alright where I am. When I listen to my thoughts I feel hopeless and afraid of the future. It's easy to think others have more life,
but the truth is my life has been full and abundant. I know many who didn’t get as much life as
I’ve had, including my sister, my cousin, and my brothers.
I believe I promised to stand as a witness! Everyone has been chosen to stand where
they are, no one else can do their mission!
All of my children have their own unique mission, very different from mine,
but so important to lift and bless the lives of others. The
Prophet announced the new age for missionaries, an exciting change that will
impact my family as well as the entire world. It’s such an exciting time to be alive. Many
in our family will fulfill their promises to be missionaries. How
glorious to be a part of that great army of missionaries!
Welcome home to a special grandson!
Future missionaries among our grandsons!
Life passes by so quickly.
Buried deep within each of us is the perfect record of who we are and
what our heart desires. This knowledge will
lead us to our souls purpose and mission.
My new mission is to take care of my health and be a witness for
truth. I cherish each day that I can
still do good things with my sweet husband.
I can find peace and joy in this new phase of my life!
Finding peace and joy.
Sometimes we
wonder why the miracle we pray for doesn’t happen, but as we trust in
the Savior His promised miracles will occur, whether in this life or the next. I
believe that God’s promises are true, that he has work for me to do and will carry
me when I cannot walk. In spite of Parkinson’s, I have promises to
keep before I sleep!
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