CHAPTER TWELVE ISSUES OF THE HEART

CHAPTER TWELVE  

ISSUES OF THE HEART

Recently we went to the funeral of a long time friend.  He looked so peaceful in his casket, he even had a little smile on his face!  How envious I felt,  I wished I was going home, free of Parkinson’s and  the challenges of these difficult times.  I woke up the next morning heavy hearted, my shaking so bad and my body struggling to take each step.  Shuffling out of my bedroom to say my prayers, I could barely find the strength to keep going.   I’ve always wanted to quit when things get hard but there is no quitting this time.    My release will be at the end of my life, unless God has a miracle for me!

  

Wilf’s esophagus continues to shut down, even after he's  had Botox injections. He has to remember to chew and drink lots of water at every meal.  We never know when it’s going to happen.  When it closes shut we pray for a miracle before we make that dreaded trip to the hospital to have it opened.  It’s a miracle when it clears without going to the hospital and  we gratefully thank the Lord.  This constant fear has made us more aware of our daily dependency on Him for every breath we take.  We are becoming meek and humble from these trials and learning the meaning of lowliness of heart.

     

Enduring to the end is not as easy as I used to think!  We need God’s help to finish our mission on this earth.  After surviving Cambodia, I thought I was a strong person, but I still have things to overcome, worries, fears addictions and weaknesses to conquer.  The scriptures tell us the earth will be cleansed by fire, not just the wicked but also the righteous.  They will be cleansed by the purifying fire of trials and tribulations until they are pure and ready to greet their Savior and King, unspotted from the world.  If we refuse to see the folly in the pursuit of worldly things our trials will teach us.  

     

When I ask the Lord, “Why me?  I also ask Him “Why not me?”  I am well equipped for this journey, more than most people.   The Lord has been preparing me for this trial for  many years by guiding me to the healers and help I need.  He told the Prophet Joseph Smith,  “All these things shall give thee experience.” All of these things are giving me experience, understanding, knowledge and wisdom.   Parkinson’s is showing me the things that were amiss in my life.

Emotions and feelings buried alive can be the cause of dis-ease. Our lives are not what we see on the surface,  our conscious mind sees only 10% of what is going on.  The other 90% is hidden under the surface in the subconscious mind.  Like an iceberg, the bigger part is not seen but these buried “Issues of the heart” can control our actions and cause dis-ease. My issue that could be at the root of Parkinson’s is fear of not being in control. I’ve been a “control freak” most of my life.  The need to control comes from fear, brought on by events and feelings early in life, and can be passed down from ancestors.   The “traditions of the fathers” can be negative traits passed to the children.  The scriptures say “that wicked one taketh away light and truth because of the tradition of their fathers.” (Doctrine &Covenants 93: 39)   The sins of the fathers may be “visited on the heads of the children,” but they don’t need to stay.  We can heal from these issues.  Learning about our ancestors can help us understand the issues that were passed down to us.       

                                                 Visiting  graves of my ancestors.

   

“The Healing Code” a book by Alex Lloyd and Ben Johnson, teaches us how the issues of the heart create dis-ease in the body.  Dr. Lloyd said the healing codes were revealed to him, in his book he teaches how to energetically heal the issues of the heart.   This is a time of great awakening when illness and addiction are rampant.  God sends inspiration to those who will teach us how to heal our lives.  This is the time to cleanse and purify as the earth prepares to receive her King.  Those seeking light and truth with hope and faith in Christ will receive answers to their prayers and see miracles in their lives.

“Power vs Force” a book by Dr. David Hawkins explains the difference between treating and healing dis-ease. 

“Healing is the removal of the cause of the condition rather than mere recovery from its symptoms.  It’s one thing to prescribe medication for high blood pressure and another thing for the patient to learn to stop being angry and resentful. Sickness is the consequences of one’s own decisions, the final outcome of choosing the negative and isolating oneself from love. When there is a transformation from being an angry, intolerant, self pitying creature to a kind, gentle, forgiving, and loving person there is a major shift in consciousness and the attracter patterns that caused the progressive or hopeless dis-ease are no longer there.  

Recovery from any dis-ease depends on one’s willingness to explore new ways of looking at one’s self and life.  People cling to their grievances, and the mind tends to resist change as a matter of pride.   A dis-ease process is evidence that something is amiss in the workings of the mind and the heart, and that’s where the power to effect a change resides.  To have compassion for yourself and all of mankind is crucial in recovery. Hostility makes us sick, we’re the victims of our own hostile thoughts and feelings.  It’s for this reason there is no such thing as an incurable or hopeless condition, somewhere, at some time somebody has recovered through this process.”

To conquer fears and weaknesses we must change our unhealthy beliefs and heal the destructive cellular memories inside the heart as well as the head.  Cleansing the inner vessel of toxic emotions, resentments, fears, etc. is as important as cleansing the physical body of chemical and environmental toxins.  It's an inside job!  We are the creator of our world and we can change our world by changing ourselves.  We don’t change the Universe, we change ourselves so we can receive the gifts we are always attracting and manifesting.  If we are constantly saying “I am so grateful for my continued good health” then good health can manifest. 

                                                          A higher view!

When I let go of fear and the need to control I allow life to flow more freely.  My emotions are connected to Parkinson’s,   I see it every day.  When I speak or perform, or become upset or frightened the tremors increase.   The trembling comes from the fear of not being good enough and believing that I need the approval of others.  Parkinson’s gives me the opportunity to heal the false beliefs, buried emotions, and incorrect perceptions that cause my fears. 

  “I am ill because my mind is in a rut and refuses to leave.”      Karen Giardino

It’s a sin to try to control others, especially when we withhold love from them.  This “issue of my heart” is begging to be healed!  I’m  sad that I withheld  love from  my sister, my husband, my siblings, my children and my parents.  My heart was blocked as a defense from pain but is now opening to love.  I feel the shell around my heart softening and cracking,  soon new life will appear and my loving and real self will come out of hiding.  I have been “itching” to come out for a long time.  God has prepared me for this time in my life, I see his hand in all things!   I’m ready to change and let go of the negative emotions, the “trapped trauma” that I buried deep within my heart to stay alive.

                                              Ready and happy to change.  

My brother’s life was more tragic than his death.  I loved him but he was unable to love me back, now he can finally heal the issues of his heart.  “Fly free my dear brother!  How blessed you are to be free!”   I am healing the issues of my heart that kept me from giving the love that everyone needed from me.  I am choosing to love and let go of fear.  The Savior is the healer and he will rescue us and heal us when we are ready to be healed!   

                

Three generations of Giles girls.